Fall Guys’ New Mini-Game Variations Are Kicking My Arse

Earlier today, Fall Guys received a mid-season update meant to shake the game up before things get medieval. Mini-games that were previously a walk in the park have been remixed with new obstacles. As someone who had previously burnt out on the battle royale, this has been the perfect opportunity to step back into the ring.

Shortly after booting up today’s Fall Guys update, the impossible happened: I died in the first round. The pattern changes in Gate Crash, a mini-game featuring a series of doors that open and close on a timer, confused the hell out of me. By the time I got to the end, I was too late to qualify for the next round.

Slime Climb, a divisive stage that’s nonetheless one of my favourites, also proved to be more challenging than I anticipated. In the fly-over preview of the level, nothing seemed to have changed. I was able to use the short, spongey walls to bounce up to the next floor early on and continue without much resistance. But when I reached an area normally bombarded by giant ball-shooting cannons, I found that the balls had been replaced by wide logs that required jumping over. These tripped me up a bit, but it wasn’t anything monumentally detrimental.

It wasn’t until I reached the end of the remixed Slime Climb that the developers’ devious intentions revealed themselves. The thin, slippery platforms leading to the finish line were dotted with almost double the normal obstacles. The moving pillars seemed easy to navigate, but by the time I got to them, my cockiness got the better of me. I soon found myself in the rising pink slime, eliminated from contention. What a world.

Fall Guys lives or dies with its wacky premise. The game is less about winning than it is surviving, and I lost interest a couple weeks back as levels became easier and easier to navigate with repetition. But now that there are new challenges — not to mention a giant hammer that can send players flying across the map — I feel more determined than ever to reach the end of this season. Just a few more levels to go.