Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Hariyama!
Average Height: 2′ 00”
Average Weight: 9 kg
First Added In Generation II
When I was much younger, an older man told me that slapping someone is more powerful than punching them. That a solid slap can stop a person dead in their tracks. I don’t remember much about this encounter and to this day I’ve never slapped anyone. But it turns out that weird old dude was right. And if you slap REALLY hard, like Hariyama, you can stop a damn train or send a pickup truck flying into the air.
According to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, Hariyama is Pokemon with some powerful slaps. This seems to come down to two things. One, it has large hands, which lets it slap better. (That’s just science.) Two, while it looks like a chunky boy, all that fat is actually muscle. So, take that much muscle attached to huge hands and you have a deadly slap-monster. Or do you?
The thing is, while it might seem dangerous and even, potentially, deadly, Hariyama is said to be kind. It even values etiquette and will go as far as to complement its opponents during a battle. It does still slap the living shit out of them, but it at least coats that hit in some praise.
However, this whole gentle giant persona is a tad bit suspect. Why? Because we have tons of reference to it slapping trucks into the sky, stopping trains, and breaking telephone poles clean in half. That doesn’t sound like the kind of things a kind creature would do. Maybe they have some anger issues? Or maybe they have good PR helping to protect their image. I’ll be watching you, Hariyama… I’ll be watching.
- According to one Pokedex entry, it can send 9 T trucks flying into the air. That’s a massive slap.
- I would not want to play “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake” with this thing. I need my hands for video games and typing.
- I also wouldn’t give Hariyama a high-five for the same reasons as above.
Best Comment From Last Week
“I think maybe an authority of some type needs to investigate the Delibirds. It seems they are running some kind of Pokemon trafficking scheme.”
Kotaku can confirm that Delibird has been arrested on multiple charges of kidnapping, trafficking Pokemon, and various charges related to tax fraud and evasion. This is a developing story.