Luigi’s New Ride Is Just A Penis

Luigi’s New Ride Is Just A Penis
You eat that sausage, plumber boy.  (Screenshot: Nintendo)

Today marks the start of mobile Mario Kart’s 35th tour, transporting players to Berlin, Germany, where Luigi dons knee-length leather shorts and rides about town in a wheeled phallus brandishing a fork-skewered sausage.

As the son of a German orphan, I don’t know whether to be offended by Mario Kart Tour’s sausage fest or whether I need to get on Door Dash and order a box of bangers. I’m secretly proud that my heritage is being represented here by ground meat and spices instead of other things. It’s also nice to see Germany and Italy getting along so well.

Man, Nintendo has sure latched on to that sausage imagery. Week two of the tour rolls out plain, penguin, and builder Luigi, but week one is all about Mario’s brother in lederhosen riding the meat-mobile. You ride that sausage, Luigi. Ride it fast. Ride it hard.

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