Some habits are hard to break. Like reaching for a light switch after it’s been removed or trying to jump on the bouncy crates in Crash Bandicoot games. Yet that’s exactly what the new mobile Crash game wants me to do. I hate it. I hate it sooooo much.
Our own Mike Fahey covered the release of mobile runner Crash Bandicoot: On The Run, the latest Crash game. It’s totally fine! It looks nice and it makes all the noises and sounds you’d expect from a good Crash Bandicoot game. It also contains some annoying F2P stuff, like timers and resources, but they aren’t too grindy. (Yet!)
Crash Bandicoot: On The Run, out today for iOS and Android, is a game in which Crash Bandicoot runs through narrow corridors breaking boxes and collecting Wumpa Fruit, just like every other Crash Bandicoot game. As mobile spin-offs go, it’s pretty on the nose.Read more
But what really bugs me, what makes my blood boil and my eye twitch is the fact that this game expects me to break bouncy crates. It goes against every fibre of my being and feels wrong. So, so wrong.
Officially know as bounce crates, these boxes contain the sought-after wumpa fruits. Many of them, in fact. You can break them by spinning into them like a boring, normal crate. But that’s the wrong way to do things. The ideal way to deal with them is to jump upon them and bounce a few times, collecting more precious wumpas than if you had just smashed it open like a monster. And for (checks the release date of the original game…) over 20 years (holy shit..) that’s how I’ve handled these bouncy crates.
Then Crash Bandicoot: On The Run shows up and insists I just… break them like any other crate. Folks, I try to do this. I really do. But I keep wanting to jump on these things, because that’s the correct method. Spin-bashing these bounce crates feels like petting a dog the wrong way, back to front. It’s not right, you know? And because you can jump in this game, I keep trying to jump on them. But nothing.
Each time destroy these bounce crates a part of me dies a little bit. I can see a younger Zack, looking over my shoulder and watching me play. And each time I break one of these he goes “What are you doing?!” I don’t know. I feel terrible.
Also, get ready for 2020 young Zack. Seriously.
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