So the saying goes, some people just want to watch the world burn. I can only imagine this is what was going through the mind of whoever designed this horrifying Long Pikachu centipede plush. The concept behind the toy is sound. Body pillows can relieve stress and help with posture alignment. But did the Pikachu pillow have to look like this?
For a refresher, Pikachu is meant to be cute. Part of the Pokémon’s appeal is its round little body and its adorable mouse-like face. But this is far too much Pikachu to handle. This is a science experiment gone wrong.
Imagine you’re walking the plains of Sinnoh and this jumps out of a bush. You’d shit yourself, wouldn’t you?
It’s like if Onyx and Pikachu had a very terrifying baby. I don’t like this at all. From the front it looks almost sweet, but from the side you can see the strange, bulbous mounds protruding from the Pikachu’s torso in waves. You can see the hungry way it gazes at its owner and plots its moment of victory.
As you can probably guess, this isn’t an official Pokémon release. The colours of the Pikachu are slightly off (bootleggers love washed out yellows) and the overall build isn’t particularly high quality. But that hasn’t stopped the plush from gaining immense popularity online.
If, for some reason, this hideous beast is more beautiful in your eyes, the good news is you can purchase it online via AliExpress.
The “Very Long Pikachued Insect Elf Plush Doll Cute Anime Cartoon Pillow Stuffed Toy Yellow Decoration Christmas Gift For Kids” is now a whopping 26 per cent off in fact, with multiple lengths of Pikachu discounted.
For $79.11 you can grab the longest available plush (1.4 metres) or you can nab the slightly more manageable 85cm version for $27.67. Sadly, the largest version, which clocks in at 1.7 metres, is no longer available. So if you’re looking for a pillow to smother you in your sleep, you’re all out of luck.
Presumably, these longer plush have gone to haunt worthy houses like the demonic beings they are. I can only imagine the kinds of calls local exorcists are going to get when it comes to these bad boys.
Please, save yourself.
Look away from the terrors of the Long Pikachu before it bonds with you. I’m afraid it’s too late for me.