I’m Not Sure I’m Ready For The Biomutant Plushie

I’m Not Sure I’m Ready For The Biomutant Plushie
It's too early to fall in love. (Photo: THQ Nordic)

Dear THQ Nordic store, I am not supposed to have the urge to cuddle a video game hero until after I have played it, and Biomutant does not come out until May 25. You cannot have my heart yet, no matter how soft and fluffy it looks with its little plush eye injury and super-cute scarf.

THQ Nordic has opened a merch store filled with merch from games I’ve never thought much about wanting merch from, like Kingdoms of Amalur and MX Vs ATV.

Anyone need a Kingdoms of Amalur map pillow? (Photo: THQ Nordic)Anyone need a Kingdoms of Amalur map pillow? (Photo: THQ Nordic)

The store carries everything from clothing to collectibles, like the $US600 ($765) Darksiders War statue or a $US300 ($383) Destroy All Humans! figure. But the best thing the new store carries isn’t nearly as expensive. For only $US25 ($32), I can have a 12-inch Biomutant hero plushie.

LOVE ME.  (Photo: THQ Nordic)LOVE ME. (Photo: THQ Nordic)

The somewhat furry action RPG has a character creator, so this plushie might not end up looking like the hero of my game, aside from the constantly missing eyeball. Still, it’s close enough to just about any furry hero seeking to save the Tree of Life, with its embroidered bullet-sporting bandolier. I find myself wondering what lies beneath the eye patch, and I fear there’s only one way to find out.

At least it’s only $US25 ($32). It could be worse. It could be the $US400 ($510) Biomutant Atomic Edition Bundle.

Photo: THQ NordicPhoto: THQ Nordic

No thank you. One plushie, please.

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