Magic The Gathering Wants You To Shove A Crab Leg Up A Chicken’s Ass And Eat It

It’s nearly the weekend, which means you’re probably thinking of what sort of delicious food you should cook for your Sunday roast. But why settle for a simple roast chicken from Coles when you can treat yourself to a recipe straight out of Magic The Gathering’s ‘The Underworld Cookbook’?

To celebrate the launch of the latest card set Modern Horizons 2, the team behind Magic The Gathering has blessed us with a recipe that sounds delicious but looks absolutely terrifying.

I present to you: Chef’s Surprise.

Chef’s Surprise (which is technically chicken, if you forget about the crab leg) is a recreation of a MTG food token card made famous by the iconic Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar.

In addition to being an iconic human wizard, Asmor is also a culinary genius, who was forced to choose between cooking delicious meals for the Lord of the Pit demon she summoned, or becoming the meal herself.

Naturally, she decided to choose the former.

Honestly, this recipe is the perfect amount of chaos to serve up at family dinner. It sounds tasty as heck, but still has a solid “what the actual fuck” element that is sure to spice up your Sunday roast.

But just make sure none of your loved ones have a shellfish allergy before you spend hours slaving away in the kitchen like  Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar.

Chef’s Surprise – A Recipe From The Underworld Cookbook

Ingredients

Chicken:

• 2 Maryland chicken thighs bones removed and laid flat

• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1/4 onion, grated
• 1 tablespoon maple syrup
• 1 teaspoon grated garlic
• 1 teaspoon grated ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon chilli pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin powder
• 1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
• Pinch of cinnamon powder

Stuffing:

• 600g ground beef
• 5g gelatin powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• A pinch of coarsely ground black pepper

Sauce:

• 1 tablespoon ketchup
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Toppings:

• 1 daikon radish
• 10 apples
• Grapes, to taste
• Green leaves, to taste
• 1 crab leg
• Skewers, for decoration

Directions:

1. Remove excess skin and fat from the Maryland chicken thighs and pierce the skin with a fork.

   

2. Combine all the ingredients for the chicken together in a bowl, rub thoroughly, and marinate in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours.

   

3. In a separate bowl, combine the ingredients for the stuffing and knead well until white, then refrigerate until ready to use.
4. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat, and place the marinated chicken thighs skin side down.
5. When browned, turn over and remove to a plate to remove from heat.

   

6. Remove any browned bits of meat from the pan, add the sauce ingredients and simmer gently to make a sauce.

   

7. Preheat the oven to 200°C.
8. Cut the daikon into quarters (pending size of radish, may need to be thirds), then into smaller pieces to be shaped like fangs (image below). Create two sets of the fangs as shown below. One set will be used during the cooking process and the other for topping.

   

9. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and use half of the stuffing to form a round base. Place the rest of stuffing on top of the centre of the base, in between the two chicken thighs (reference image below).

   

10. Fill the area between the two thighs where the stuffing is visible with one set of the daikon fangs.

    

11. Bake in the oven at 200°C for 20 minutes.
12. Remove from the oven, brush with the sauce and bake again at 200°C for 10 minutes.
13. Remove the cooked fangs and replace them with the uncooked second set you’ve set aside.
14. Serve on a plate. Garnish with green leaves, grapes and apples.

Attach the fangs for finishing. Decorate with crab legs on bamboo skewers and you’re done!

Go on, shove a crab leg into a chicken as a little treat. You deserve it.