Sonic Smut Is Flooding Trump’s New Social Network

Sonic Smut Is Flooding Trump’s New Social Network
Sonic memes and a wide variety of other shitposts are flooding the just-launched conservative microblogging platform GETTR. (Image: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku / Sean Gallup, Getty Images)

Nary a month after the dramatic implosion of former president (and current Twitter refugee) Donald Trump’s attempted blogging career, the septuagenarian authoritarian’s “team” of grifting enablers has launched its latest attempt at a social network for folks who are just too darn patriotic for regular social media…and also for all sorts of Sonic the Hedgehog porn.

The unpleasantly named GETTR — Hilary Clinton lives in that dude’s head rent-free — is essentially a Twitter clone. Its slogan, “the marketplace of ideas,” suggests that inexplicably fence-sitting centrists might find it appealing as well, and that’s particularly true if they’re into furry vore artwork and memes about Sonic the Hedgehog getting pregnant.

That keeps coming up, doesn’t it? It seems that GETTR’s early launch (it was originally promised for Independence Day) has attracted a variety of leftist riff-raff from Tiktok, weird Twitter and the like, and they’ve embraced the former president’s unsavoury, make-believe birdsite wannabe as the perfect place to share degenerate hentai, furry porn, leftist Sonic memes, and stock photos of pudgy, aged men in their underwear.

QAnon genius Jordan Sather, who suggests drinking bleach to cure the ‘rona, noted that, “Shills are already hitting the #QAnon hashtag on GETTR hard. I won’t repost what I’m finding. Titties and bad words and stuff.”

“Stuff,” indeed. So far GETTR’s moderation safeguards haven’t stood a chance against the NSFW Communist mpreg onslaught, which has flooded venerable tags like #QAnon with the sorts of sexuality-threatening furotica that pass through MAGA uncles’ minds as they rant at Thanksgiving. It’s fair to say a fair few good, decent, upstanding conspiracy theorists and proto-fascists are rapidly being forced to come to terms with the existence of a large chunk of the shitposting internet, or at least acknowledge it outside of their secret bookmarks.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Leftist Sonic/video game memes, general hentai, and sometimes Sonic hentai has been hard to miss for would-be users of the new GETTR social app.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

There are also quite a few accounts impersonating prominent conservative personalities, adding to confusion by shitposting behind a thin veneer of authenticity.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

The galaxy-brain-level #sonic_came_in_my_bussy has emerged as a particularly popular hashtag. Below, Sonic shares a smooch with President Obama.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

GETTR seems to support Tiktok embeds, which lets users easily import whatever wacky memes they like from the super-popular microblogging vid site.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Ironic-ish Sonic thirst coexists alongside wholesome memes about Sonic supporting the LGBT community.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

I guess Mario’s ok, but Sonic’s just a really great ally and totally down with his canonic bisexuality.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Thirst for chiselled washboard hedgehog abs under the hashtag #Obama.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Text-based shitposting is in full effect too. Sonic mpreg content is surprisingly prominent.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Trump X Sonic is the crossover unsuspecting MAGA fans didn’t know they wanted. Or wouldn’t admit to, anyway. Also, congratulations to the expecting hedgehog parent.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Blue lives matter, a shitposter reminds GETTR users, just above a befuddled, undead, self-described fake Margaret Thatcher who has a reassuring checkmark next to her name.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Users appear thrilled to exercise their right to freeze peach on GETTR, if also a little preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog porn.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Peeking in at the top there is a fake account for a rather infamous

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

There’s no hiding the hedgehog thirst, so might as well share it on #maga and #covidhoax. At the bottom, yet more speedy hedgehog smut.

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Screenshot: GETTR / Sega / Kotaku, Fair Use

Sonic’s thoughts on tax reform lack nuance, but it’s great that’s he able to exercise his right to free speech in this wonderful land of the free, home of the brave.

Sega’s speedy meme king is particularly well represented, with tags like #sonicfeet, #sonicismygod, #soniclovescommunism, #sonicmylove, and #sonic_came_in_my_bussy (ask your father about that one) tracking the sometimes-pregnant blue blur’s presence across the nascent social network for shitheads. But despite GETTR’s professed dedication to #FREEZEPEACH, a peek into accidentally leaked source code reveals its operators can add or remove “trending” topics at will. To arms, blue bussy brigade — you’re being censored!

It’s also quite easy to impersonate well-known conservative figures on the service, as evidenced by an account for Supreme Court justice “Brett Kavanaugh” enthusiastically sharing fetish images of a massive Sonic treading on a hapless fursona. I’m split on whether Hercules actor Kevin Sorbo’s is real or not. That fellow is a bit touched.

The prominence of Sonic amid the GETTR shitposting ruckus will come as no surprise to dedicated internetologists. Since his debut in 1991, Sega’s hedgehog has found a special place in fans’ hearts even as he acted as a gateway for an unknowable number into the realms of furrydom. His fandom has persisted through the series’ many ups and downs, and in more recent years he’s become a key player in absurdist Twitter and Tiktok memes that often bridge the gaps between the furry community, weird twitter, overly online leftists, and places in between.

Unfortunately for GETTR and its would-be users, the torrent of furry, leftist filth shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, especially given the recent media attention. Maybe Mr. Trump, who actually hasn’t joined the fledgling service yet, will step in with his legendary negotiating skills to re-assert order and make GETTR great again. Great for something beside Sonic feet pics, I mean.

Comments

  • The fact that this has more effort put into it than the average Kotaku article is disappointing. Why the clickbait though? If Trump doesn’t own it nor have an account, how is it his social network? What’s the point of signing up if I can’t hit up The Don and ask him his thoughts on Sonic RPG 7.

  • How does one join this disgusting cesspit?

    Just so I can avoid it and I don’t, you know… accidentally end up there.

  • I’m going to assume the author is an 8 year old trying to be edgy because the Cringe is strong with this one. They also need to learn that the Centrists are such because they prefer to keep the fascists on the left, and the idiots on the right (and the occasional reversal) at arms length.

    I’m also bemused at the sonic porn thing since that hasn’t really been a furry thing since the 2000s. It tends to be looked down on.

    Is there something weird going on with the formatting of the article? It keeps on shrinking and growing as if the tide is going in and out while I’m in the comments.

  • >The unpleasantly named GETTR — Hilary Clinton lives in that dude’s head rent-free — is essentially a Twitter clone.
    Kind of hilarious that this is said without a hint of self-awareness.

    I also enjoyed the dig at centrists, because it wouldn’t be a day on earth without someone misrepresenting centrism (hint: it’s not fence sitting).

    • Americans sure do love their binary viewpoints dont they.
      “Oh you think both sides have some good and utterly shit ideas? YOU FENCE SITTER!”

    • It’s so weird that many of these American far left journalists conflate centrism with fence-sitting. Surely it can’t be that hard to figure out – or are they intentionally pushing their agenda?

    • US centrism does tend to be very right leaning people who are smug about fence sitting though. Republicans abandoned genuinely right-wing/conservative voters, hell, even just intelligent voters, a long time ago so there’s a huge base of centrists who are only there because they can’t bring themselves to side with openly bigoted anti-intellectual politics.

  • Why do authors like Alexandra Hall have such hostility towards centrists? It’s almost cult-like in the hatred towards them.

    • Also,

      “Hilary Clinton lives in that dude’s head rent-free”
      Donald Trump has a permanent residence inside all of your types heads.

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