Every Tuesday, the Halo Infinite store refreshes with a new stock of items and armour to help your Spartan stand out in the battlefield. For the most part, it’s the sort of borderline bro-y stuff you’d expect: ammo belts, additional visor colours, decals, what have you. More recently, the game’s been selling something slightly sillier: pineapple-shaped grenades that you can don on your chest. But December 7th’s store shuffle is something else entirely.
In a word: cute. For 1,500 credits your Spartan can affix a loveable teddy bear to their chestplate, or perhaps gently attach a giant sunflower to their helmet. How does it stay in place? Who knows! The bundle also contains a small heart-shaped charm that you can show off on any gun you’d like. Or, if you’re feeling fancy, you can walk around with a yellow rose resting upon your shoulder plates. You’ll be the classiest Spartan around.
Seems like there’s a theme to this week’s store offerings. In addition to those softie-approved items, the store is also currently selling a variety of chibi decals that depict many iconic Halo enemies over the years. You can apply these adorable versions of the aliens as decorations to your guns, your armour, or even your vehicles.
I’m psyched to see 343 Industries push Halo into new territory, even outside of the campaign. It would have been easy to argue that these additions don’t fit the game, in the same way that Battlefield players were pissed to see Santa in their military shooter. Halo normally fits right into the typical dudebro milieu. At the same time, reducing the series to that description is a disservice. Halo, its wild physics, the highly specific medals you earn, and the game’s juiced-up power weapons all come together to create genuine absurdity. With that in mind the new kawaii items work, even if they sound weird on paper.
Needless to say, I got the sunflower bundle. Already, I can imagine other players having to watch me kill them despite looking like I just walked out of a nursery. It’s probably a matter of time before some man sends me an enraged audio message about how he’s going to report me for cheating. Nature is healing on XBL, friends.