Uncharted Movie’s Sully Already Looked Off, But The Moustache Makes It Even Worse

Uncharted Movie’s Sully Already Looked Off, But The Moustache Makes It Even Worse
Sully, what's wrong with your mustache? (Image: Sony / Kotaku)

A new trailer for the live-action Uncharted movie dropped today and we finally got a good look at Mark Wahlberg sporting his character Sully’s famous moustache, and… it doesn’t look great.

The first half of the new trailer is a rehash from the earlier teaser trailer, with a new clip of Tom Holland doing slick Jackie Chan stunts down some fancy lights at a swanky art exhibit, and arguably doing so better than video game Nathan Drake could hope to attempt. Only in the trailer’s second half does it stop recreating Uncharted video game moments and show off some original concepts, as well as give us a glimpse of Wahlberg donning Victor Sullivan’s iconic ’stache.

Among the new-for-film sequences is a scene of treasure-laden pirate ships being airlifted by helicopters as various parties jump to and fro, fighting for the spoils. It looks sick as hell, and in the spirit of Naughty Dog’s trademark awe-inspiring action sequences. But what looks sick in a more negative sense of the word is the state of Marky Mark’s moustache at the butt-end of the trailer.

In the final moments of the trailer, Drake is sitting at a table trying to broker some sort of deal with what I assume are other treasure hunters. Naturally, the odds of a successful parlay appear to be plummeting downward. Luckily, Sully appears from a doorway, armed with his upper lip holstery and a revolver. Instead of being grateful for his surrogate father’s appearance, Drake correctly calls Sully out for how ridiculous his moustache makes him look.To save face, Sully makes a meek, low-hanging fruit response about how Holland’s plucky, silver-screen Drake hasn’t hit puberty yet. Boo this man.

Wahlberg’s moustache makes him look not so much like Uncharted’s cigar enthusiast but more like a Wish.com version of Tom Selleck in Magnum, P.I. The consensus among the eagle-eyed Uncharted cognoscenti here at Kotaku is that Wahlberg’s moustachioed appearance is most likely going to occur in a post-credit scene, given that none of the previous promotional material or clips show him sporting it. Plus, the clip just feels like the kind of thing an Uncharted movie would include as a post-credit scene to get a pop out video game fans who sat through the entire film and its credits wondering why Sully didn’t have a moustache.

If only Wahlberg could’ve mustered up a crumb catcher with a little more gravitas, like Stephen Lang did in the 2018 fan film. Well, at least there’s still a little time to punch it up with CG before release.

Comments

  • Nooooo, all I can see I Wahlberg walking around with that high register accent saying “Hey, I’m Sully ok? I grew this moustache and everything”

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