Wasn’t I just commending Halo Infinite a couple of weeks ago for letting me wear cutesy stuff like sunflowers and roses? Now I’m back to sing its praises for a different type of armour attachment that will be a familiar sight to egirls and weebs alike. Yes, Master Chief can now wear cat ears. This is the future Alex Jones tried to warn you about, a world belongs to cat boys and cat girls.
But these ears come at a price — and are only available in multiplayer. Costing about 10 bucks in real-world money, the “Purrfect Audio” cat ears are a part of a larger feline-themed bundle that includes a worn salmon-coloured armour coating. Unfortunately, the ears can only be worn on a single armour core. That’s a bummer, because other types of wares have started to become a bit more flexible. The red-and-gold Iron Man colorways being hocked right now, for example, apply to multiple armour cores — including the infamously limited (but soon to be easier to customise) samurai core! Still, when I’m sitting tight with a lil’ teddy bear fastened to my baby-blue military camo, cat ears perked up behind cover, trigger finger at the ready for the mere hint of enemy footsteps, it’s hard to complain. I’m cute and that’s what matters.
Good timing, too. Right now, there’s a big holiday-themed event going on that requires logging in for multiple days to win a variety of different goodies. While some might find this requirement onerous during a stretch of time that can involve tons of social obligations (if not travel), there’s also plenty of incentive here too. By which I mean: That pink-and-green armour advertised in the event sure seems like it would pair nicely with my new cat ears. Nobody said lookin’ good would be easy. My holiday plans just got slashed because of omicron, so I’ve got nothin’ better to do anyway.
And for those of you completely repelled by the cat ear vibes, don’t worry, there’s something for you too: 343 is selling some truly distinguished shades of black, brown, and grey coatings for your trusty battle rifle. Representation matters, people.