What do pixels taste like? If I could hazard a guess, I’d say sharp. I know that isn’t a flavour, but that’s all I can think of. While I have no clue, it seems like Coca-Cola does.
Last month, soft drink monster and corporate giant Coca-Cola debuted the first limited-edition flavour in their newly-launched Coca-Cola Creations line of cola that boasts a series of ‘new innovations and expressions’.
I don’t know what that means, but they’re certainly doing it. The flavour in question is Starlight, which is red and tastes like space probably.
However, the Starlight flavour is unimportant right now. Forget everything you just read, because it doesn’t matter. Space isn’t real, it was made up by the US Government to sell pet rocks. (Editor’s note: Please stop saying this. — David)
We’re here to talk about the second flavour introduced in this new line of ‘experience’ drinks because it is relevant to gamers.
The latest flavour in Coke’s limited-edition line, and it’s called Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Byte. The company describes it as having a ‘bright, upfront taste’ and ‘refreshing finish’. Sounds like my average Friday night, am I right, fellas? Ladies? Theys and thems? Am I RIGHT?
The Zero Sugar Byte is reportedly ‘pixel flavoured’. What? Huh? What is that? If we take into consideration what I said earlier, that pixels taste sharp, I can only imagine that gamers drinking this Coca-Cola Gamer Flavour will have a similar experience to being on the piss at 2:00AM and feeling a blood vessel pop in your brain after furiously slurping down a post-mix cola from your local fast food chain.
According to MarketWatch, an island in Fortnite Creative will also be created to go alongside the soft drink release called Pixel Point. The island will have four games available – The Castle, The Escape, The Race, and The Tower – and you can also scan the drink can for an ‘augmented reality game’. This is clearly a Coca-Cola for Gamers, guys.
The big question here is simple: Will the Coca-Cola Byte make you a better gamer? Will it turn someone who previously had never played a game in their life into a fully-fledged gamer? Will the Average Joe take a single sip of this liquid and suddenly feel the urge to put a joy-con in his ass? We’ll only know once the gamer juice is released.
In the meantime, there are plenty of alternatives while you wait to chug down a video game cola and Fork-Knife some Pikachu or whatever. Why not glug-glug on a delicious Monster Energy Drink and feel your heart rattle around for an hour? Or perhaps you’d like to Do The Dew, and bathe yourself in some Mountain Dew before you enter a convention centre that’s warned you about your soft drink soaks in the past? The options are endless.
To clarify, yes. Once this concoction makes its way to Australia, I will give it a red hot go. Expect a SnackTaku in the future on this bad boy. I will be the one to see whether the Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Byte really tastes like video games.