Today’s the day! It’s our special little friend Kirby’s 30th birthday.
There’s a little bit of celebration happening for the pink orb’s 30th birthday, such as a free Kirby wallpaper on the Nintendo website, the Kirby 30th Anniversary Music Fest (which is happening in August), this very cute It’s Kirby Time story, and a sweet new piece of art on the official Kirby Japan Twitter account.
— 星のカービィ (@Kirby_JP) April 26, 2022
Of course, there’s also the fact that this year saw the release of Kirby and the Forgotten Land, one of the best Kirby games ever made.
However, in my humble opinion, this is not enough. Kirby is turning 30, people! This is a milestone age! We should be doing so much more for Kirby’s 30th birthday! In saying this, I’ve done Nintendo a huge favour here by listing a few potential things that could be done to celebrate Kirby’s 30th birthday.
Give Kirby some money to go to the movies
It’s Kirby’s birthday, and he would like to go to the movies. In turn, he needs some money. Going to the movies is expensive, especially if you want to be in one of the fancy cinemas where they bring you food. Kirby loves food. Nintendo should give Kirby some money so he can go to the movies, as he would like to go see The Northman.
You may be thinking, “Are you sure The Northman is appropriate for Kirby?”. This is a great question, and the answer is yes. Kirby is 30 now, so he is old enough to go see The Northman. Kirby is also friends with musician Björk, who is in The Northman for 2 minutes and 11 seconds. Kirby would like to go support his friend Björk by paying some of Nintendo’s money to go see The Northman.
Help Kirby with his taxes
Kirby is 30 now. He must pay his taxes. Unfortunately, Kirby does not know how to file his taxes as he usually gets his tax agent, Accountant Waddle Dee, to file them for him. Even more unfortunately, Accountant Waddle Dee has retired after 60 years of working and is now living in Ibiza.
This means that Nintendo must help Kirby do his taxes. Kirby is a law-abiding citizen and is not interested in going to jail for 100 years for tax fraud, so it’s only right that Nintendo helps him out here. Kirby is also a problem spender when it comes to Elvis Presley paraphernalia, so hopefully, these can be considered work expenses to prevent Kirby from going broke.
Let Kirby wrestle in AEW Rampage
AEW Rampage, also known as Friday Night Rampage or simply Rampage, is a professional wrestling television program produced by All Elite Wrestling (AEW). They are considered a cooler alternative to WWE, which some wrestling fans believe has become less about wrestling and more about ‘sports entertainment’.
I think Kirby would be a great addition to the AEW Rampage line-up, as he has had plenty of experience in Super Smash Bros. I think he would be good friends with the wrestler Hook, and I would like to see what he would turn into if he swallowed and gained the abilities of Luchasaurus. Every wrestling fan is openly wondering, “When is Kirby going to show up?”, so I believe this would be a great opportunity considering Kirby is now 30 years old.
These are just a few things that I think Nintendo should do to celebrate Kirby’s 30th birthday. Me personally? I celebrated Kirby today by drawing him and I about to eat a Kirby car cake. How are you celebrating Kirby’s big day?
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