Seems like the new Saints Row is taking a leaf out of Cyberpunk 2077‘s book in the form of You Can Choose What Your Darn Dick Be Looking Like.
That’s right folks, Saints Row released their Ultimate Customisation Showcase to the public this morning, showcasing all kinds of customisation options that will be available in the upcoming title. You can check out the full video below.
Character Customisation [GONE SEXUAL]
The character customisation is full-on, which is unsurprising considering Saints Row has always gone a little wacky with the ability to customise characters. However, this time round there are sliders for everything. You can make your ‘thang’ as big or little as you like, and put stickers over it if you would like to be respectful to the general public.
On top of that, you can also make your character’s face asymmetrical, your skin a shiny chrome, and so on. The possibilities are endless. Saints Row‘s character customisation seems to allow for anything from fat hog wish fulfilment to the ugliest goblin you’ve ever seen in your life. What a time to be alive.
Aside from how big and bulbous your bobbies can be, there are plenty of other customisation options that will be available in the game.
Car Customisation [GONE AUTOSEXUAL]
Wacky and hyper-specific customisation of cars will also be available, with LOTS of cars on offer and all kinds of changes available. In true Saints Row fashion, customisation of cars will go beyond pure aesthetics meaning you can add crab steering, spammable boost, a fucking wrecking ball, and an ejector seat to your ride. So basically, what if Pimp My Ride made your car fucking stupid? I love it.
Gun Customisation [GUN SEXUAL]
One more customisation option is guns. You can make a goofy silly gun or a hot bimbo gun with colour customisations, or more! Some guns can be customised to look like objects that are not guns, which is very silly! This is classic silly goofy guy energy coming from Saints Row.
On top of the Gunbrella, you can also make a rocket launcher a guitar case. In my dreams, I pray that they turn a cat into a gun but in a way that won’t piss PETA off. Like this.
Headquarters Customisation [I CAN’T THINK OF ONE FOR THIS, SORRY]
On top of all this, you’ll also have a cool crime headquarters to be a naughty little crime boy with your cronies, and said headquarters is ALSO customisable. Saints Row has basically said, “Do whatever you want, we don’t give a shit,” which really rings true to the vibe of Saints Row from the beginning.
I for one am very excited to get my slime-ridden claws on Saints Row, as I’ve got a horrid goblin in my heart by the name of Fart Smella that I believe would do well in a world where anything is possible. Also, I’m going to give him a huge set of knockers, and there is literally nothing you can do to stop me.
Saints Row will launch on August 23rd for PlayStation 4 & 5, Xbox One and Series X/S, and on the Epic Games Store.