Is EB Games releasing its very own Gamer Store Bath Water for the masses to sip up with glee? Sorry, typo. I meant soda.
A recent tweet from the EB Games Australia Twitter account has sent out a call to action, and possibly even a test for product research: What would an EB Games Soda taste like?
hey twitter, wanna weigh in here? what would an EB SODA taste like? 🤔🥤
let us know your pick in the comments by Sunday 19 June! pic.twitter.com/QxWV9hJcFk
— EB Games Australia (@EBGamesAus) June 16, 2022
Isn’t that such a good question? What would it taste like?
It certainly wouldn’t be the first sticky gamer muck to hit the market if this turns out to be a new business venture for them. How could we forget Jobbie Pong, the nut butter made for gamer consumption? Or even Coca-Cola’s sweet, sweet gamer fluids?
Companies are chomping at the bit to shove a funnel into the mouths of gamers and pour some type of Mario-themed battery acid into it. Slap a sticker on some Spam that says ‘You HAVE to gobble this up if you LOVE playing Fortnite‘ and great success, you’ve got gamer food.
EB Games is running this poll until Sunday, June 19th. The flavours that they’ve got on display are Lime Splice, Liquorice, Fairy Floss, Red Frogs, and Bubblegum. Sure, these are all flavours. This is true. But do they truly represent what the everyday person believes EG Games would taste like?
If you licked the carpeted floor of your local EB Games, what would you taste? Bubblegum? No. What if you licked the glass case where they keep all the trading cards, would it taste like Fairy Floss? Absolutely not.
We NEED to go deeper. Truly hone into what a soda that is made of EB Games would taste like. Plastic. Fluorescent lights. Funko Pops. Recommended retail prices. Uncomfortable comments towards the 17-year-old girl working at the counter from a father with his children present. Blood. Sweat.
Or maybe, just maybe, red frogs. It makes sense, it’s red. What do you think it would taste like? Would you consume it?
It would taste like stale Gamer Fuel thats crystallised in the bottom of shaker bottle thats never been cleaned, with a distinct hint of No-Frills lemonade that tastes slightly flat despite being in the fridge for weeks unopened cause you been avoiding it.
This is a beautiful description. I can see it, I can taste it, it has made me violently ill, and I love it.
It is clearly red somethingorother – if I zoomed in on the bubbles I would expect them to all say “SALE”
Guzzling down my EB Soda only to find that my red blood cells are now $68 each, down from $99.95.
Buy them for only $1 if you trade in two Xboxes and a kidney for store credit!
Surely it’s half peeled stickers and left over sticker gunk.
A bit gamey with a bit of Zing.
Self loathing and bitter disappointment, with a hint of hatred for people….