What Your Position In League Of Legends Says About You

Horoscopes are outdated. Let’s be real, nobody cares if I’m an Aries – but what they do care about is what role I play in League of Legends. And with the World Championship now in full swing, it’s time to reflect on yourself. What kind of person are you really? This game can tell you EXACTLY the kind of person you are based on your most played role on Summoner’s Rift. So consider this your LoL horoscope. Here’s what your position in League of Legends says about you.

Top Lane – The Loner

I’m not going to sugarcoat it – if you play top lane in League of Legends, I feel bad for you. Top laners have this vibe where they’re just really lonely. All the time. The kind of people that take themselves on lunch dates and post about it on their Instagram stories to try and hype themselves up, but everyone that sees it is like “yikes”. And I was going to say that it isn’t your fault, but really, it is. As your team is about to fight for dragon, you continue to split-push top despite the constant pings for you to teleport down. Suddenly, the Summoner’s Rift lady says “an ally has been slain” 4 times and now you’re being question mark pinged because you’re still pushing top.

Top laners that play bruisers are like those kids in school who want to be a part of the popular crowd, but they try way too hard and end up being liked by nobody. This is why they play champions like Sett, Illaoi and Darius. For the tank players, there are champions like Ornn, Shen and Sion. People that play tanks in the top lane are more reliable than their skirmishing counterparts, but they can be boring. These people have all the charisma of a brick wall. Sorry, not sorry.

In saying that, your heart is in the right place. Your way of helping is by doing a job that can’t be done by anybody else, and we all really appreciate it.

Jungle – The Flake

If you main jungle, you struggle with time management and are usually late. You say you’re going to help one person, but you end up leaving them to go and help someone else. It’s not that you don’t show up to big events — in fact you love them more than anybody else – but you have a hard time being, well, on time. You’re the kind of person that’s always the last to arrive and the last to leave.

There are a few different types of people that play jungle. Those that play ganking champions like Elise and Zac are more likely to be on time, but ‘on time’ for them is the most annoying time for you. Then there’s the farmers — people that main Master Yi, Udyr and Karthus are all essentially invisible. They’re hard-working and quiet until they feel that they have built up enough confidence to come and interact like a normal human being.

But it isn’t all negative. you’re more likely to be in-tune with nature and have lots of pets or a great love of animals. I’d also really love to know how you keep your houseplants alive. I can’t tell if mine are dead yet but I’m going to keep watering them anyway.

Mid – The Celebrity

Mid players love being the centre of attention. You think you’re an anime protagonist and honestly, I love this for you. Unfortunately, this can manifest in needy behaviour – constantly asking for ganks from everyone, and if they don’t gank you then you end up rage quitting or running it down. If you lose your lane, it’s somebody else’s fault. You also refuse to take advice from anyone, which means you often get into sticky situations that could have been easily avoided if you just listened to literally anyone when they tell you to play safe.

There are two different kinds of mid players. Mages and assassins. Mage players often think they’re smarter than they actually are and they spend their time telling anyone that’ll listen. Assassin players try to get everything done quickly – even if they end up doing a bad job of whatever it is they’re doing.

Despite this, people that play mid lane are some of the most headstrong people I know. They won’t let anybody take advantage of them, and if someone does try to do them dirty, they’ll call it out faster than you can kill a minion wave.

ADC – The Baby

ADC (Attack Damage Carry) is one half of the duo bottom lane in League of Legends. ADC players are more often than not babies behind a keyboard. Literal babies. Like, they can’t even hold their own heads up. They cannot under any circumstances be left alone or they will injure themselves. Worst case scenario, they will die. ADC players can get jealous of others quickly, which leads them to begin sabotaging others so they can get what other people have. If they can’t get what they want from other people by asking nicely, they’ll take it by force.

There are a few categories of ADC players. People that play Poke ADCs like Ashe, Ezreal and Jhin look to slowly but continuously piss off everybody around them until they’re all alone. People that play Hyper carries like Tristana, Jinx and Kog’Maw seem friendly at first, but the more you get to know them, the more you’ll realise that they are actually clinically insane and you should avoid them at all costs.

As for the positives, ADC players are perfectionists with an eye for detail. They love to work with others rather than independently and are able to take on constructive criticism without getting upset. Just make sure they have regular naps.

Support – The Babysitter

Support is the other half of the duo bottom lane. If ADCs are the babies, Supports are the babysitters. Support players have a tendency to get angry easily, but they won’t say it to your face. Instead they’ll seethe and be petty, letting their teammates die in crucial moments as a way to get back at them for being a pain in the ass earlier on in the game. Support players have little patience for anyone being a silly billy and would rather get things done without any messing around.

All-in support players are the most chill, but this can make them irresponsible. Did you ever have a babysitter that let you watch MA movies when you were 10 years old? They probably play Leona, Alistar or Rell in League of Legends. Poke support players (think Lux, Zyra and Brand) are often greedy. They’re only in it because it benefits them in one way or another, but as soon as they’ve gotten what they want, they’re ditching you to be more independent. Meanwhile, enchanter support players have an anxious attachment style coupled with a tsundere attitude, meaning that they’ll want to be around you 24/7, but they don’t want you to know it. They play Nami or Soraka and want to be your Discord kitten.

Support players as a whole are patient and really do care about those around them, even if they show it in strange ways. Make sure you honour them at the end of the game for being a good egg.

Summoner’s Rift can be a scary place to navigate with all these big personalities, but the more you play, the more fun it gets. Also, is anyone able to carry me to gold? I’ve been hardstuck silver 4 for a while and need the boost.