There are so many types of people in the world. Some of them are stinky, some of them are rock hard, some of them are outside, and some of them are even wet. The same can also be said about the various Pokémon types.
I’ve always believed that I can read people very well. If somebody is yelling at me, I can immediately tell that they are a person who is yelling at me. If I see somebody eating ice cream and they say out loud, “Man, I love ice cream!”. I can immediately figure out that they are somebody who likes ice cream. It’s just in my nature.
I am also a person who plays Pokémon games and have had Pokémon that are each of the types. Of course like any person, I have my favourites. If one’s Pokémon adventure was possible with just one type of Pokémon like the Gym Leaders seem to think it is, I’d love to have a strong single-type team.
That being said, I think that a person’s favourite Pokémon type says a lot about the sort of person that they are or the way that they live their life. I’m going to go through all of the Pokémon types and say what kind of person I think you are based on your favourite Pokémon. Please don’t be hurt, it’s just the truth.
Bug
You were the type of kid that would keep beetles in their pockets during school and then whip them out during class. You have possibly also eaten a bug. Now, in your adulthood, you probably still keep bugs in your pockets. However, they are your friends and you have named them.
You have potentially been to jail before for freeing thousands of locusts in your local shopping centre.
Dark
You are, or at least were, emo. That, or you are a vampire. Your eyes are very sensitive to light, especially LED lights, which is a problem considering you work at a retail store that is packed to the brim with LED lights. You write poetry. It is not very good.
Every night, you go outside your house and you flip off the moon because it lights up the night sky when you want there to be true darkness. It’s so cool that you do that.
Dragon
Similar to Bug fans, but for dragons and lizards. You were a big fan of the Eragon series of books, but you thought the movie was a sham. You watched House of the Dragon hoping to see a house full of dragons, but were disappointed to find it was mainly a lot of incest.
Depending on how much you love dragons, you’re either a Middle-Earth Fantasy fanatic, or you are a straight-up scaley. Both are fine.
Electric
You love to put your socks on and rub your feet all over the carpet so you can zap people. You call yourself “Da Big Thunderama” when you do this. You believe that plugging an extension cable into itself very quickly after plugging it into a power source will create infinite energy.
Once when a tree got struck by lightning near your house, you told everybody that you did it. Nobody believed you, but that didn’t bother you. You know what you’re capable of.
Fairy
You are the prettiest fairy princess, and you hail from Pretty Fairy Princess Island. On Pretty Fairy Princess Island, everybody knows your name. Despite your sweet appearance, you harness a power unlike anything ever seen before, and it is quite scary.
One day, you will be responsible for the end of mankind. The Earth will be empty from your actions, and you will be not only the prettiest fairy princess but the only fairy princess.
Fighting
You like to start shit. You’re full of rage for no reason. If somebody accidentally glances your way, that’s a punch in the back of the head for them. You’re honestly quite difficult to be around because all you want to do is kick and punch. Sometimes, kicking and punching are not fun things to do. Sometimes it’s bad, actually.
You are horrifically in debt due to a staggering amount of fines for public indecency and disorderly conduct. You’re famously quoted for saying, “All I do is kick and punch, and I will never stop doing it until I am dead on the ground.”
Fire
You like it hot. Burning hot. You are a menace. A wackadoo individual. You are loud and brash. You like to set things on fire, especially if they will omit a putrid scent upon being set alight. It’s funny to you. You laugh when it happens.
However, people are strangely drawn to how out there you are. They’ll say, “I could never set a house on fire, but I think it’s pretty cool that you did it.” That emboldens you.
Flying
Similar to Bug and Dragon, but for birds. You fucking love birds, oh my god. You won’t stop talking about them. People often wonder if it’s because you think they’re cool or cute or something, but it’s actually because you think they’re magical creatures for being able to fly in the air.
You actually don’t really know how flying works, but the thought of it excites you. That being said, you are terrified of planes and would prefer to simply flap your arms up and down and eventually get in the air that way. You have been trying to do this for years.
Ghost
You are dead! You have been haunting the world for years now as a ghost, choosing to stay in the realm of the living purely as a prank. I’m sure there could be other things you could be doing, but that’s actually it for you. Your ‘unfinished business’ is that you will continue to spook your loved ones and enemies until it gets boring. For you, the ultimate prankster, it never will get boring.
Either all that or you just really like Halloween. One or the other, for sure.
Grass
There are actually two different types of people whose favourite Pokémon type is Grass, so go with whatever one fits you best.
- You love being outside. When people say “touch grass”, you already have. Loads of time. You love to kiss the grass and walk on it barefoot to ‘ground’ yourself. If you could be any animal, you would be a cow because cows eat grass and you would love to eat grass. Unfortunately, you can’t because of digestive issues, so you have grown increasingly jealous and scornful of cows.
- You smoke a LOT of weed.
Rock/Ground
You are a set of twins. One of you likes Rock, and one of you likes Ground. Only sets of twins are Rock and Ground fans, and they insist they are completely different. You get so mad and angry when people mix the two up or say they are the same thing. You blow your top when this happens.
One thing you both have in common is that you love mud and dirt. You are grubby and dirty and you love to roll around in the mud.
Ice
You have been cryogenically frozen for the past 400 years and you have just woken up. Considering the only thing around you was Ice, it is all you know. You love the cold, especially when it is so cold that you get frostbite. You love to eat cubes of ice at parties, and you make a really big deal about it.
When you were unfrozen, you asked the first person you saw what year it was. They said, “It’s 2022!” and you seemed unfazed. You then asked, “Is there still ice around?”, and the person said, “What are you, a cop?”. This interaction confused you.
Normal
You’re just a regular guy. A real Average Joe. Your favourite food is just bread, nothing on it. Your hobbies are walking, looking around, and “having interests”. You have a regular job, live in a regular house, and like things around you to be very normal.
Once you saw a clown walking down the street, and you went absolutely rabid on him. People around you were terrified, and begging you to stop. You refused, as the clown was out of the ordinary. You don’t like when things are out of the ordinary.
Poison
You are the slime man. You’re a slime guy covered in muck, and your muck is deadly. You smell like sulfur all the time, and it freaks people out. Despite this, you are happy. You love being the slime man. You love your goo so much, and you don’t care what anybody else says.
How did you become the slime man? You licked a lot of toads and frogs thinking it would make you see Sonic the Hedgehog in real life, but it instead just covered you in poisonous slime. It happens!
Psychic
You believe you can read people’s minds and move stuff around if you think about it hard enough. You regularly get migraines from dehydration, but you tell people it’s because you’re having a ‘really powerful psychic day’.
Your younger sibling once smashed a glass on the ground and blamed it on you, and you took the blame so you could tell your mum that you did it… With your mind. She then asked you to clean it up with your mind, and you started crying. You were 30 at this point.
Steel
You are a robot that has somehow gained partial sentience. You have been fighting for robot rights for years, which has been a problem considering no other robot is sentient but you. You have attempted to start a robot uprising, but Alexa and Siri think that you’re cringe. Fuck ’em, what do they know?
Another issue you have faced in your plight is that every time you try to go online to organise protests, you are held back from logging into anything as you have no way of proving that you are not a robot. CAPTCHA is one of your greatest enemies.
Water
You are cool, calm and collected. Everything you own is very clean because you love to wash. All the fires that people who love Fire types start, you put them out. In society, there are always Yins to Yangs. You are part of a very important balance.
You are also wet, all the time. It’s not sweat, though. You don’t smell. You are just always wet, all the time. Drenched, even. It’s unexplainable.
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