Tagged With burnout paradise remastered

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I have an early copy of Burnout Paradise Remastered, and I cannot enjoy it. Yes, I have, as EA suggests, sent my car "launching, spinning, and scraping through the city." I have followed instructions to "smash" through traffic and leave a "very expensive trail of wreckage" in my rearview. And I am playing it on a 4K television at 60 FPS, with each and every pixel on my car's paint job rendered with delicate care.

The problem, reader, is not the game. It's that I own a car.