"And then when you spin, flick your hair like this."

Only one problem. I don't have. At least not the kind you can 'flick'.

Meet Chilli. Chilli is a pole dancing instructor. I suspect Chilli is not her real name.

Chilli is limber. Chilli is flexible. 10 minutes previously Chilli was stretching during her warm-up. Chilli was doing things I wasn't sure human limbs were capable of doing.