“It’s funny, I remember loading Zelda.com, and Zelda.com was definitely a porn website,” Merritt Kopas, author of Internet Murder Revenge Fantasy, recalled. “This was like, early ’90s, so I’m sure Nintendo bought it back, but [it used to be] a porn site.”
Bread is lovely. It’s soft, quiet and largely immobile. Teenagers, on the other hand, are packed with sturdy bones, boisterous and don’t stay in any one spot for too long. They’re pretty much the opposite of bread, and so they’re not very good at playing I Am Bread.
A group of adolescents interred at an internet addiction boot camp rose up against their oppressors last week, restraining their supervisor and fleeing the facility to taste sweet, sweet freedom. At least until their parents sent them back.