Nintendo

11

So, the DOOM reboot is making its way to Nintendo's portable console. And it's the full version of the game as well, albeit with a lower resolution and a ton of effects turned down. Fortunately people have gotten hands on with the game, and so far, it's playable.

10

When a Switch owner named Setery told a gaming forum about how NES Golf randomly appeared on her Switch's screen, commenters accused her console of being haunted. Switch hackers' subsequent race to unearth NES Golf now indicates that there's a hidden game on the console and, actually, it appears to be a heartwarming tribute to the deceased Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata.

7

“Only one person so far,” said the very nice Nintendo rep, “didn’t change Mario into his swimsuit.”

That didn’t surprise me.

It’s a gorgeous Friday afternoon. I am the last appointment of the day. The last person this nice lady will guide through Super Mario Odyssey. A video game that will almost certainly be ‘brilliant’. Brilliant is a dead word, but it applies. Super Mario Odyssey will sparkle, dazzle, it will shine brightly.

But here I am thinking about nipples. Talking, even, about nipples.

Nipples. Nipples. Nipples.

9

At my birthday party this weekend, I brought out my Nintendo Switch so I could be as cool as all those people in the commercials. Just like the people in the commercials, we all ended up standing while playing games, as well. It was super weird.

10

Metroid: Samus Returns comes out this week, a full overhaul of the very dated Metroid 2. Released for the Gameboy, the original is a challenge to play due to tricky controls and flat black-and-white graphics. Yet despite the limitations of its platform, Metroid 2 introduced many elements that were — and still are — unique to the Metroid series.