Fake Gamer Of The Week: Rage-Quitting Baby

We've all been there, rage-quitting baby. You're playing a quick round of capture the flag, and there's this guy on the other team who just won't stop killing you. And as he does so, he lets loose an unending stream of invective, racial slurs and all manner of other disgusting language.

He probably doesn't know he's talking to a baby. But even if he did, would it matter? Probably not.

At first, you tried to reason with him...

"Hey man, can we keep it a little bit more civil in here? Do you really have to use that word so often? Let's be adults about this. It's just a game, and we're all here to have fun."

But it was like he didn't even hear you. Almost as though you weren't yet capable of speech! You looked to your sister for help...

"Seriously, are you hearing this shit?"

But she was worthless, as usual.

"I'm gonna be a doctor AND a fire-man!"


You pause. You think about your life. And you come to the conclusion that the guy you're spending all this time and energy on is basically this guy:

And so, with a flourish, you throw your headphones to the ground.

"F**k this noise."

I know, rage-quitting baby. I know. I'm sorry it had to go down like this.

It's enough to make you question why you play video games in the first place.

Photos: Shane Trotter and TheUmf/Shutterstock


    Fake Gamer of the Week: Kotaku US Contributor.

    Ah, more proof of the PC = Real Gamer, Console = Toddler Toy arguement

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