Toys In 1984 Kinda Sucked

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We take a lot of what we have today for granted: fancy toys, giant TVs, new consoles. So often we forget just how much holiday gifts used to suck.

The video above, taken from ABC News 29 years ago, shows exactly how much cooler a lot of the dumb stuff we own is. The toys start about a minute in. Sure, there are a few glimmers of hope in there (those Transformers and My Little Pony toys ain’t half bad), but the bulk of it is pretty damn depressing.

Foywonder via Matt Hawkins


  • Well not all of them sucked especially the transformers, they really don’t make them like that anymore, by far the best construction.

  • Well, no fucking shit things sucked back then. People saying things were better way back when they were kids just look into the past with rose colored glasses

    The strangest part for me was that I couldn’t tell if this was a news piece on toys, or a weather report for Australian summers. “Hot” being repeated so much makes me nervous that I’m listening to a report about another mega bushfire on the verge of happening

    • ^^this^^
      i loved the stuff i got back then. would it be a great gift today? probably not. in saying that though, in 30 years from now, people will look back and scoff at what is good today… “I can’t believe people had to put up with the sluggishness and piss poor graphics of a ps4/xbone.”

  • Transformers: Were made from a mixture of METAL (remember that kids? Metal. Pronounced met-al) and hard plastic. They were actually designed not to break within ten minutes! Most of the best and most memorable Transformers came out by 1984 – 1985 by the way including the Dinobots and Constructicons.

    GI Joes: Were freakin’ awesome. In 1984 you had two choices. Tiny GI Joe figures or the large deluxe figure that came with action clothes like a barbie. You had different sets of clothing for GI Joe. Parachutes, Ninja outfits, scuba gear. He was freakin’ unreal.

    He-man and the Masters of the Universe: A SENSATIONAL range of figures that absolutely rocked!

    Cabbage patch dolls: For young girls, these were ugly as sin but somehow sold lots. But at least they were nowhere near as offensive as those modern day Slutz (Bratz?) dolls…

    I’d rather most of the 1984 toys than the modern day ones. Most of the ones back then had character, identity and appeal. These days they’re mostly just shovelware. What’s the one true toy that’s gotten infinitely better though with the years? Lego.

    • Also Matchbox cars. They were still Die Cast Metal. Now they are owned by Mattel and are worthless plastic shapes! Hot Wheels were the cheap imitation, too.

  • they didnt suck the way they were made, they might have suck by the way the looked. todays toys have a large amount of individuality which replaces the different heads you get on each he-man toy.

    that being said, i loved the 80’s the toys and the cartoons #grewupinthe80

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