Here’s Our New Look At Lara Croft And Her Freakishly Long Neck

Here’s Our New Look At Lara Croft And Her Freakishly Long Neck

We’ve gotten the first poster and trailer tease for the Tomb Raider reboot, starring Alicia Vikander as the new Lara Croft… and guest-starring a giraffe as her neck.

Image: MGM/Warner Bros.

The official trailer arrives tomorrow, but the tease gives us a taste of what Vikander’s Croft is going to be up to, and it looks like shenanigans. Based on 2013’s more realistic Tomb Raider game, and not the original series that led to a two-film franchise starring Angelina Jolie, the new movie looks like it’s going to be a survival tale with just enough traps and tricks to keep original fans entertained.

But I have a bone to pick with the poster. Guys, what’s up with her neck?

It’s just so long, like Guinness Book of World Records long, with this giant curve that magically manages to make it even longer. Vikander doesn’t look like this — barely any humans do. And considering they’re trying to promote this film as having a more realistic Lara Croft, subbing boobs that changed size from scene to scene for a photoshopped giraffe neck doesn’t seem like the best foot forward. Just look at her. She’s a hybrid between a human and a desk lamp.

Tomb Raider arrives March 2018.


  • I really wish movie makers would stop having characters shoot arrows by holding the bowstring between thumb and finger!
    Any bow with a decent tension will need to be drawn with 3 fingers in order to get any distance or accuracy.

    Petty I know, but its a real immersion breaker every time I see this

      • It’s a fair criticism. I get similarly annoyed watching the footwork and balance of actors pretending to be martial artists.

        Suspension of disbelief works until something breaks the illusion. Film makers just pick the point at which they assume the majority of the audience won’t notice or care. Doesn’t mean that the minority have an invalid point.

    • Except three finger draw is but one draw technique. Thumb and finger is actually the predominant technique amongst Asian archery styles including the Mongolians, who were pretty good at the whole archery thing. Given Lara’s technique isn’t exactly correct either, thumb and finger is legitimate. Just saying..

  • It seems like those are Alicia’s natural proportions, unless every picture of her on the internet has been photoshopped to match this Tomb Raider promo, as any quick search for images of her on Google would have told the author.

  • At first look it appears horrifically unnatural but the more I look at it, I think it’s just a combination of a few unfortunate eye misdirects.

    1. The position of her right arm makes obscures her torso, making appear narrower than it is, which tricks the eye in to lengthening everything vertically.

    2. The light catches the front-right part of her neck, just above the strap of her top, burning out the shape of her neck in that spot, making the neck appear skinnier.

    3. Her pony tail is super misleading to the eye. It’s not falling how you think it should be. It’s actually tied out of view at the back of her hear (as, well.. normal) but the wind has swept it to the side, giving the impression that it is falling straight down. This creates that unnatural curve you are seeing.

    4. Her ponytail also obscures the perspective where her neck meets her left shoulder, making it appear as if that angle is closer to 90 degrees, thus lengthening her neck. If her hair was up, and you could see the actual angle of her shoulder, I think it would look normal.

    Of course, being a movie poster, there is likely a crazy amount of photoshop going on, so it’s equally likely that some graphic designer just went a bit nuts with the liquify tool… but I’m leaning to it being more a perfect storm of perspective distorting illusions.

  • Apparently the current record for longest neck is 40cm (with the aid of neck rings) so I think she has a way to go.

    • I could swear readership was much higher in the past, judging by TAY comments and comments here in general. Articles like these and all the click bait crap makes people go away.

      • I’m not sure what happened at Allure but there was a few changes just before Serrels went and sat in the big chair that gave me red flags. There’s a whole heap more ‘partner content’ now, and less and less journalists (or whatever label you want to give them) and more freelance stuff that should make a middle school English student reconsider their need to pursue the written word into their HSC.

        Stuff from Alex, Rae J and Campbell is still pretty good – I try and avoid anything written by the American site (though accidents happen) and, I’ll admit, I’ve had to diversify my news sources as well since the noticeable dilution of Kotaku AU.

        Long story short: I’m fairly sure Serrels has imposed a company wide fairy bread and Tim-Tam ban and we’re feeling the results.

      • For me it’s just been the site redesigns and reduced/broken functionality that’s made me feel less inclined to bother as much. Though it didn’t help that the community moved on/elsewhere (I think in part mostly because the site just didn’t work on mobile any more, so kinda ties into the first bit anyway), so again less reason to participate.

  • Also gentlemen, notice the fact that she is holding the BLADE of her ice-pick something that would traditionally be very painful.

Show more comments

Comments are closed.

Log in to comment on this story!