An Ode To The NPCs We’ve Robbed

An Ode To The NPCs We’ve Robbed

Hi Kotaku! It’s Ben, Narelle, and Peter back as your guest writers for the weekend. It’s been too long!

Since we were last here, we’ve travelled to many worlds, visited countless cities, and met some of the most unique NPCs in gaming. The one factor that they all share is that they have items, gold, meseta, rupees, gil, rare treasures, hearts, and more within their habitats that are there for our taking. We’re putting them to good use since we’re often required to save the city, or the planet, or the whole universe. Fighting supervillains takes lots of resources and treasure in games like Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, Nier:Automata, and Lost Odyssey, so it’s our job to seek them out.

It doesn’t matter where they hide them. We’ll be there to take it away so we can buy the next weapon or equipment, or purloin that said possession directly from the NPC’s house.

As one of the writers among the three stated, “I’m bad to the bone, and I smash pots right in people’s faces in Zelda. These rupees are mine now, you cowards!”

And if you’re a goose, you just take all the stuff because it’s fun to be a menace.

Of course, that was in the light of the moment. Now looking back after having conquered many worlds and video games, we pay ode to all those who’ve sacrificed their possessions in our journey to accomplish the ultimate good. The hoarders have tons of stuff in their rooms, so they might not notice if we take a few treasures. But it’s to the NPCs who’ve secretly been collecting a sum for years so they can buy something precious to them that we feel the most regret. Thank you so much. The universe is safer thanks to all the possessions and money you’ve donated.

On that note, if you need to get in contact with one of us for any reason whatsoever, you can do so in the comments or via Twitter. If you have secret treasures you’ve taken during one of your many odysseys and forays into gaming worlds, we’d love to hear about them (we’ll keep it confidential). All our Twitter handles and info can be found in our bios below.


  • When I played Deus Ex HR and MD
    Your Adam Jensen, a former cop, turned security chief of a Fortune 500 company… and later an Interpol agent. I broke into every house, office, computer, safe, stole from office workers, civilians, terrorists, crime lords, street gangs, police officers and robbed corpses. Anything I found that wasn’t nailed down. Adam Jensen has stolen over 100,000 dollars and he still thinks he is the good guy.

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