The Week In Evil DLC

Downloadable content. Everyone hates it — but everyone buys it. Yes, even you in the comments, smart guy. Here's a look at the latest package of extensions and pre-order bonuses designed to crowbar the last dollar out of your wallet. Can you still respect yourself if you buy it?

Saints Row the Third: Enter the Dominatrix

Available: Spring. Price: Unknown, but a bargain at any price.

What You Get: The straight-up delivery on the April Fools' prank everyone waved at dismissively. An alien kidnaps the leader of the Saints and traps them in a virtual reality simulation of Steelport. Inside the Dominatrix, you will experience, according to the original release (assumed to be a joke) "Mind-Bending Telekinesis, Really Really High Jump, Really Really Fast Sprint, Shiny Blue Force Shield, and Shiny Blue Fireball Projectile-of-Doom."

Why It's Evil: For making us think this was a joke. Saints Row is a riotous eff-you to convention in its main presentation. With physics-warping powers, this should be a trip.

Evil Score: 1/5. Lowest evil score ever assigned by this short feature. I don't know if creating the extension is ThinkGeek-style fan service, or if they had plans to all along, but the execution is pretty solid.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim — Dawnguard

Available: Winter Price: Also unknown

What You Get: Frost elves? Crossbows? Bethesda will not say, except to say we'll find out more at E3, when whatever this is will be annihilated by the dragon shout of actual new games announced there.

Why It's Evil: Wait, did you say this was an Xbox 360 timed exclusive? FFFFFFFUUUUUUS RO DAH.

Evil Score: 3/5, for the timed platform exclusive. God damn you Microsoft and your deep, deep pockets!


Comments

    so sick of this whining about dlc dont buy it then you whine yet you still guy them whats evil is people complaining about dlc i wish dlc was the biggest problem in my life

      It's supposed to be a light hearted poke a DLC, they're not trolling

        No, they're poking fun at consumers who feel ripped off by DLC and for that I wish this shit would fuck right off.

        DLC is fine if done well, but the community has become vocal about obvious nickel and diming and the gaming press can't have that because they need to keep their publisher overlords happy, that way they get their exclusives and invites to press events. These days it's everyone vs the gamer

          Fuck I love psychotic conspiracy theories.

          No wait, you're fucked.

        If you go have a good read of Owen's articles, I can't agree, the guy seems really bitter and threatened by the idea that people might disagree with him on something, his articles are often the unwarranted personal attacks rather than some kind of journalism. Luke reminds me of the dimwitted guy who finds everything funny and repeats the jokes he hears constantly, can get annoying but is mostly harmless. Owen reminds me of the equally dimwitted guy who THINKS he's really witty and intelligent, but rarely ever makes a valid argument instead arguing past people and throwing out sarcastic insults that he can always just claim 'was in jest' if anyone ever calls him out on it.
        Just my opinion of course, and only really annoys me because he sometimes reviews games I want to read about, or I'd just ignore his articles altogether, I actually thought this one had died and was surprised to see it pop up again.

      Hurrrr

        It's because of people like you that I pray for a second gaming crash.

    This article is really still being posted? Owen's got some serious insecurity issues or something going on : /
    Oh well, suppose if at least one person enjoys it it's not a complete waste of space... or something

      I find these articles quite useful myself, as well as entertaining and amusing.

    whats with this everybody hates it yet everyone buys it crap?

    The sales figures on DLC arent that good.... its still an evil that needs to be removed so admitting defeat to it is becoming part of the problem not part of the solution

      well they do still buy it how would they know its a rip off if they havnt played it ?

      add on / expansion packs ae better cause they add to the game not just your arsenal or map selection

    I like these articles. It's a great weekly feature.

      same. theyre a good read.

      I agree, best articles from Kotaku apart from their amazing Mass Effect articles (complete the trilogy today! it's totally not shit!)

    Both are 1/5. You guys should know by now Bethesda is about the 360 timed exclusives. Seriously. Why on earth is it a surprise?

      It's nice to nice to know that M$ will have something apart from Kinect, COD and Haloat E3 this year.... so many wasted nights

      you say that like its commonness makes it less evil, it doesn't. In fact I think they rated it's evilness too low

    So, that's two Riccitiello replies I made in jest that the mods won't let through.

    Gotta get dem previews, right Kotaku? You sellout bastards. Ever heard the phrase "keeping the bastards honest"? If you've sold out to them then what exactly is your function apart from being PR?

    What amazes me is my joke replies where more sensitive than the crap EA representitives tweet on their twitter accounts.

      Fight the power! I think your tinfoil hat's a bit crooked there.

    pre order max payne 3 on steam and u get the dlc "free" + mp1 and mp2 for free,
    is that evil?

      mp1 and 2 for free? Hell no, thats f***ing SAINTLY

      The dlc you get is a character and weapon pack and some in-game items. You don't get the already-announced map packs. I find that a little difficult to stomach, announcing the maps already.

    Skrym is so overrated (there I said it) and Saints Row is highly underrated.
    So I'm happy with my PS3 today.

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