Why The Tiny Text?

deadrising.jpgI know I want to buy a high-def LCD TV. It’s instinct more than anything else – a warm, tingling sensation that emanates from my giblets and perfuses my being. It’s like lowering yourself slowly into a steaming hot bath.

If instinct alone wasn’t enough to justify such a purchase, I have a tangible reason as well.

Tiny text.

The first game I encountered with a microscopic font was Capcom’s Dead Rising. So there’s me, with my standard definition yet decently-sized CRT television. And then there’s Dead Rising sitting in the DVD tray of my 360, laughing at me like a hyena on crack as I squinted blood from my eyes.

I thought I was going blind. Again. I played with the brightness and contrast settings on my TV, moved my couch closer to the screen, and even contemplated jury-rigging some massive magnifying glass. My total lack of jury-rigging skills and fear of transparent materials quickly put an end to that plan.

Dead Rising wasn’t just a $90 game. It was a $90 game with a $1500 hidden fee. It’s maddening to think that Capcom almost made the same mistake with Lost Planet.

That was ages ago. I thought I was done with tiny text until I cracked open World Series of Poker 2008. Somehow Activision complete forgot about the whole Dead Rising/Lost Planet debacle and said “What the hell? 20/20 vision is for the weak!”

Thanks for reminding me just how inadequate my TV is. Thanks a lot, you arsehats. How hard is it to include extra fonts for those of us without oodles of cash to spend on high-end equipment, or are perfectly happy with our investment in CRT technology?

I’m no typeface expert, but I imagine it’s not that hard. If it is, then put a warning on the packaging.

Maybe I’m the only person in the world who still uses a CRT TV. Am I? I need comrades to rally to.


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