WIN! Dawn Of War II And Limited Edition T-Shirt

dawn of war 2 artwork 20090218.jpg

To celebrate the release of Warhammer 40K: Dawn Of War II today, the kind folks at THQ have handed me five copies of the PC game and five limited edition 40K t-shirts. Rather than keeping them for myself, I figured it'd work best to give them away.

DoWII tee.JPG

That's the t-shirt, btw. And when we say "limited edition", we mean there were only 400 made. And we've got five of them. Not too shabby at all. So, how do you enter this thing? In the comments below, you will finish this joke:
"So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar..."

Got it? The five entries to raise the loudest laugh from the Kotaku judges will win. You've got until Wednesday next week to demonstrate your comic genius.

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Comments

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar... and the barkeeper says "Why the long face?"

    and introduce themselves to me the drunk who has never played Dawn of War game

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long faces?" To which all three reply "In the grim darkness of the future, there is only war."

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar... and one of them-OMG ZERG RUSH KEKEKE!

    While the Space Marine and Tyranid are dazed, the Ork takes the bar and beats them to death with it.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...

    You'd think one of them would of seen it!

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar and order a round of beers. "That will be $24 please" says the bartender. So the Space Marine gives the bartender his money and they start to drink their beers. "You know we don't very many aliens in here" mutters the bartender.

    The Ork replies, "At these prices it's no wonder!"

    the space marine looks at the Ork and says hey were'd you get that. The tyranid replies "from the incoming WAAAH!, there all over the place".

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar. The Orc, furious that the bar would taunt him so smashes it into a thousand little pieces and stomps them into the ground. The Tyranid also upset eviscerates the bar with its long deadly blades and quickly consumes all the pieces. The Space Marine however, looks at the bar and simply rubs his head, praising the Emperor for placing the bar in such an odd place to test the faithless. Praise be the Emperor!

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...the Eldar, however, ducks.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...but not all at the same time because their players need to take turns at rolling at the dice first, and only one army can move at a time.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...
    The Space Marine slams 100 credits down on the bar and says, "By the Emperor, I bet I can drink you both under the table!"
    The Ork slams 50 credits and his favourite Snotling down on the bar and says, "Puny human won't out-drink me!"
    The Tyranid slams the Space Marine's entrails down on the bar and says, "SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork, and a Tyranid walk into a bar...

    None of them leave alive.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar, and all the n00bs are like: "IMBA!!!"

    The Space Marine walks up to the bartender and proclaims, "By the Emperor's will you shall provide me refreshment at no cost."

    Not willing to defy the will of the Emperor, the bartender quickly serves the Space Marine his drink for free.

    Next the Ork approaches the bartender and shouts at him, "Me boyz'll be rippn' yer arms from der sockets and beatn' ya wif da wet end if you don't hand ova da grog!" the Ork then takes a bite out of the bar to show he means business.

    Well the bartender doesn't want any trouble, so he quickly poors the Ork a large tankard of grog, at no charge.

    Finally the Tyranid approaches, regurgitates a huge sum of credits onto the bar and then promptly eats the bartender.

    Which just goes to show, Tyranids are quite good tippers.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...
    The Space Marine is the first to come to - "Chaos have led us into a trap! TAKE COVER BRETHREN!" he screams as to rushes over to a nearby table, up-ends it and takes cover behind it. Soon after the Tyranid recovers. Realising the Space Marine must have deceived it, it retreats to the Hive, to return shortly with the Swarm. The Ork now recovers realising its the only one remaining charges up to the bar staff wailing and slaughters them all. Over in the corner, the two Eldar snicker amongst themselves - "If we'd had known it would be this easy, i'd have done it forty thousand years ago!"

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar. A few minutes later the Marine and Tyranid walk out in disgust cause everyone knows that Orks jus wanna haf phun, oooo Orks jus wannna have phunnnnn

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar... where the bartender gestures at the Ork and Tyranids, "We don't serve their kind here." The Space Marine says to the other two, "Better do what he says, we don't want trouble," to which the Ork and Tyranid promptly responds with a "waaaaaugh!" and "REEGHAAAR!" and... walk out.

    So, a Space Marine, an ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar and the bartender says "The gay bar is next door"

    "So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar..."
    "Where'd you get 'em?" asks the bartender.
    "Won 'em in a raffle!" replies the Tyranid.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...

    ...After the round is served, the Space Marine raises his glass in a toast to the Emperor.
    The Tyranid raises his glass, and toasts the Hive.
    The orc downs his beer, and smashes the glass on the bar yelling "WAGHHH!"

    The Barman calls for the bouncers, and asks them to remove the Tyranid.
    The Space Marine, Perplexed, says to the barman, "Why remove the Tyranid and not the raucous orc?"
    The Barman replies, "Orc's are expected in a bar, but where there's one insect there's hundreds, and I've got a health inspection coming up"

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar the eldar ducked 'cause he saw it coming.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar, the squat walks under it shaking his head. "And they wrote us out of the game, at least we can limbo"

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar... "At least we beat the Terran, the Protoss, and the Zerg by a few months!" exclaimed the marine.

    So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar...

    The bar tender turns around and looks up at the Tyranid which promptly hisses at him....

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