You Have Forgotten How To Use A Pen

As someone who holds an Official Pen License from Smithfield Public School (circa 1998), I find You Have Forgotten How To Use A Pen by Harry Lee's Wanderlands studio incredibly upsetting. I know how to write with a pen. I know how to use a god darn pen. WHY CAN'T I USE THIS PEN?

I hesitate to put this game in the LunchTimeWaster category because it may take much longer than a lunch break to play through the game. It's a task that is so simple, but I have so much difficulty with it. Mark watched as I made pathetic attempts to trace letters before leaving me with the following comments: "That Harry Lee is going places" and "Tracey, you're a bit retarded".

While I agree with the first comment, I completely disagree with the second.

OK, maybe I don't completely disagree...

Play the game here.


    Smithfield West represent!

      Smithfield West also represent! Class of 92. Honestly couldn't say whether those horrible grey shirts were better than the horrible blue shirts Smithfield Public had to wear.

      My handwriting is also horrible enough without having a computer interfering with my ability. I have to write in all caps to make it legible.

        That isn't Smihtfield, in northern Adelaide is it?

          That Smithfield has to steal uniforms from other schools, so I'm guessing not (my first thought too though, the joy of geography).

          Nope. Sydney.

    It's a little bit janky. My apparently successful "A" looked more like a severely warped, reversed "F"

      My "A" looked like an epileptic fit.

    Haven't been this shamed about something pen related since I was forced to use a plastic grip dealy in the second grade. :P

    Is it me or does the left and right rotation orientation seem to swap often?

    This isn't at all comparable to using a pen >.>

      It is if that pen is capable of sentience behaviour and is openly defying you.

    I never got my pen license. I've been writing illegally for well over 16 years.

      Same. So now I comfort myself by twirling the damned things constantly.

    I imagine everything said in Serrels scottish drawl would sound lovely, no matter how condescending it was.

    "Why can't I use this pen?" Because pens weren't made to be controlled with arrow keys.

    Anyone who can write an A in this is surely a witch

      Or using dirty hax.

        It doesn't seem to care what shape you draw you just have to squiggle a lot on the A, if you do a lot of small circles on the A you will still pass it.

        The bar on the left shows how much crap you have drawn on the letter, the bar on the right seems to measure time and how much crap you have drawn outside the letter.

        You just need to make the line on the left reach full before the line on the right reaches 0.

    Never before have I come across a game so quickly infuriating. It's no more pointless or contrived than any other game when I think about it, but presented in this way, it just gets to me for some reason.

      Could be because the angle of the on-screen pen is completely arbitrary, so you have to line it up with where you think it need to be, then remember if it needs to be steered forwards or backwards. In other words, it's crap.

    Somehow I got up to "C" by going around in circles.

    I haven't pushed a real pen in years - everything is type or touch these days.

    I have 100% Super Meat Boy, I have beaten I Wanna Be The Guy, but to hell with this!

    Man, I can't get over how accurately this game captures what it's like to use a pen in real life.

    QWOP has nothing on this bad boy.

    This game fills me with rage and fury.

    If I cant draw the letter A then its a problem with the game. I refuse to admit fault.

    This is the greatest and most terrible game ever made.

    It's like trying to play Slicks and Slides moving at 100 km/h. Remembering how to use a pen seems to consist of madly scribbling within the grey letter though. I wish my writing with a pen was just scribbling in predetermined letters. *poutiness*

    1998... shit. This means I'm now older than people I consider journalists.

      yeah, I feel you man. I got my pen licence in '86

        lol, old people reminiscing.

        I got mine in '04!!

    I don't get the point of this. A pointless idea coupled with a deliberately poorly designed control scheme?

    It's like Snooki if she were a flash game. This person should not be applauded but punished for being such a tool.

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