Police Blotter: His Face Fought The Law And The Law Won

Crime is a constant feature of video games writing. Somewhere, someone is doing something illicit with them — sometimes comically stupid but potentially tragic. Games and consoles are currency, objects of dispute, sometimes even weapons themselves. Kotaku‘s Police Blotter is here to round up the latest in games crime.

Faces of Resisting Arrest

WEST PALM BEACH, Florida — A guy whose head looks like someone chose the randomize feature in MLB 13 The Show‘s player-creation menu is in jail after burglarizing his cousin’s apartment, reports WPBF-TV. Deputies say Florida Man Doyle Washburn Jr. (pictured) relieved his cousin of a PlayStation 2 and attempted to crawl out of a bedroom window with the merchandise, valued at $US25 in GameStop store credit if it has the component video cables. He had “what appeared to be cords in his pants,” says WPBF, so, good, then. Washburn resisted arrest, said deputies, which required a beating “hobbling,” and a visit to the hospital for an X-ray. Washburn tried to run away there, but a deputy beat on him some more “tackled him against the wall”. New Photo GameFace, right here.

Kill/Death Ratio Doesn’t Mean What You Think, Lady

SLOUGH, ENGLAND — Some kids bring home a nasty note from their teacher. A 15-year-old at a special education school in England brought home cops in body armour and a search warrant, after his teacher mistook conversation about Call of Duty for a plot to buy a firearm. Though the matter has been cleared up, his mother is none too happy, reports The Daily Telegraph of London (in its print edition yesterday). The school’s head teacher justified the reaction, though. “Although there was no weapon, if we hadn’t taken action and there had been, the consequences could have been devastating.”

Don’t Fake Burglary, Robble Robble

HOPATCONG, New Jersey — A 33-year-old man faked a break-in at his own house in order to pay a debt, police say. NJ.com reports Christopher Kelly, 33, reported he’d been burgled of a Timex watch, several Wii games, and, uh, $US2,600 of his girlfriend’s cash. Police thought it odd that security video at a nearby store didn’t show anyone in the area around the time of the burglary, that drawers in the bedroom were left open but otherwise untouched, and, oh yeah, an adult was sleeping upstairs during the time of the burglary and heard nothing. Kelly’s girlfriend thought he was at work at the time but it turns out he had been fired about a month before. She later recorded him admitting he faked the whole thing to pay someone back.

These Aren’t the Victims You’re Looking For

GREENVILLE, N.C. — Cops in this eastern North Carolina city say a couple of burglars busted down the wrong door but still cleaned out the residence of its liquifiable consumer electronics. Police say four men “were looking for something specific,” according to WNCT-TV and forced their way into the apartment before realising they were in the wrong place. They took a TV, mobile phones and “an Xbox gaming console.”

School Days, School Days, Dear Old Torrented SDKs

MIDDLESBROUGH, ENGLAND — Johnathan Waring, a student at Teesside University faces a potential prison sentence of 10 years after pleading guilty to distributing the PlayStation 3’s software development kit over the Internet, which he had obtained through the games development course he was taking at the time. “The court heard that his actions could have cost Sony millions of pounds worth of damage to its system,” reports the Evening Gazette, in that the SDK could show others how to defeat antipiracy measures. The offence occurred sometime in November or December 2011.

Just Say No to Copyright Infringement

WINNIPEG — Cops raided a head shop here not necessarily because it was selling weed, but because its bongs infringed on a bunch of copyrights, among them Angry Birds and Nintendo characters, and that sends a real bad message to kids. This might have been a creative way to crack down on on a paraphernalia dealer, but it didn’t put him out of business. “The Joint” has slyly rebranded itself as “The Joint: Tobacconist and Glass Gallery” and is back open for business on St. Mary’s Road for ‘Peggers with need for natural or homeopathic medicine supplies. [CBC News]