Behold, Ridiculous Penis Physics

There's been a lot of talk recently about the (unfortunate) boob jiggling in Lightning Returns. Meanwhile, games like Mount Your Friends quietly launch onto Xbox Live Indie Games, initially passing under the radar here at Kotaku.

If you haven't seen this game before, going by the description alone, it doesn't sound so ridiculous. The Steam Greenlight page describes the game as a "physics based competitive climbing game." That doesn't even sound interesting! Oh, but Stegersaurus Games have a trick up their sleeves to get you interested: a trailer where men can experience the absurd "joy" of helicoptering their crotch despite standing completely still. Also, lots of grunting and slapping sounds. And a goat?

Listen, I don't know why there's a goat in there, but yeah. Goat. Dicks. Mostly naked men. Racial diversity? It's all in there.

The point of the game — when you're not being distracted by the dick physics, that is — is to become the highest point in a tower of people. Mount your friends. Geddit? There's a timer, though — and if you run out of time before you get to the top, you're eliminated.

There's also a timer-less mode, should you want to, uh, mount without pressure.

The Steam version of the game hopes to add a bunch of new features, including customisation, a plot-heavy campaign (???), and weather. You can vote for it here.


    Ok it kinda looks like fun, if not slightly unsettling to see people trying so hard to perform some kind of athletic tea bagging.

    Calling it Penis Physics is totally unjustified, offensive and wrong.

    It's clearly the balls that have the most weight and size in the 'package' and therefore carry the inertia we see in order to move the package as a whole around in such a manner. Therefore, this should be correctly referred to as "Ball Physics", "Junk Physics" or "Sack Physics".

    I'd also accept "Tackle Physics", although rugby/gridiron entheusiasts may get the wrong message from the term.

      I found your scientific analysis of dangly bits insightful and well thought out. I shall now refer to all genital based physics as the DanMazkin Principle

    I thought this was going to be an article on how inherently sexist this game is. It wasn't. I was prepared to be offended! A completely new angle from Patricia.

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