The Internet Votes Gabe Newell To Be The Next CEO Of Microsoft

The Internet Votes Gabe Newell To Be The Next CEO Of Microsoft

Valve boss Gabe Newell might not be too keen on heading back to Microsoft after his crazy-successful stint as founder and CEO of one of gaming's most beloved companies, but he's winning this poll nonetheless.

Created by a software developer named Jerome Lambert, the website Next Microsoft CEO asks people to vote on who should take the gig after the departure of reigning boss Steve Ballmer, who plans to retire within the next year. And thanks the first law of the internet — If There Is A Poll, Gabe Newell Will Win It — Valve's boss is leading the pack with 37,000+ votes.

Of course, because of the second law of the Internet — If You Win A Fan Poll, It Comes True — Gabe Newell is now the CEO of Microsoft. Congratulations, Mr Newell. We look forward to your new rule.


    Someone needs to set up a prank, sending hundreds of flowers and cards to Valve congratulating Gabe with his new job.

    And here I thought the next President would be Hairy-Ass McGee

    Well the Xbox One sure suits his style, 360 would need rebranding though :P

    EDIT: He's being beaten (rather badly) by Richard Stallman anyway. Article is already out of date.

    Last edited 04/09/13 9:10 pm

      Appualing repost without fact checking, Gabe is now 3rd behind Richard Stallman and Linus Torvalds

        That's Linux fanboys for you. I like Stallman's and Torvald's contributions to software and such, but they're both colossal egotists who have run off a lot of good colleagues because of their dickish ways. If we're going to replace Ballmer with someone else, I would hope the idea would be to replace him with someone who isn't his exact doppelganger from the left side of the spectrum.

        It's not appalling, it's absolutely disgusting! /epic sarcasm

        Last edited 06/09/13 11:31 am

          He did a database cleanup, someone was using a bot to vote 5 times a second for Stallman and Torvalds. Gabe's back in front after the bot votes were removed.

          @sk3iron It might not have been bad fact checking after all, the bot voting apparently happened over a fairly short period.

          Last edited 06/09/13 7:53 am

    Hah. Well, a lot of people used to hate Steam and it now seems to be a licence to print money, but Gabe would have to come out and expose a lot of his recent shit-talk as trying to establish a pre-Steam Box marketing edge...

    ... but shareholders would be rioting outright if either Stallman or Torvalds took were serious prospects, let alone actually in the job. :P

    I want Felicia Day!

    edit: to run Redmond, that is, not like actually wanti...

    ... no, wait...

    Last edited 04/09/13 9:54 pm

    Yeah, but there are absolutely no cats in the running, so I'm not sure this is a valid poll.

    Our supreme future ruler is already CEO of all companies.

    All hail Emperor Gabe

    Am I the only person who doesn't like Gabe Newell?

      I don't think person is the correct term to use.

      Away, heathen.

      (I am only joking. Do not be sad plz.)

      Last edited 05/09/13 12:36 am

        Hahaha, it's all good! Even if I was offended your name would cheer me up anyway!
        Ha, Captain Ballsack, classic.

          I second that. In fact, Captain Ballsack should be CEO :P

          "And here is the knew CEO of Microsoft...........................CAPTAIN BALLSACK"

    He's perfect for the job. Microsoft can't call things "3" either.

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