What We'll Tell Our Kids About The Console Wars

What We'll Tell Our Kids About The Console Wars

Nobody walks around telling nostalgic tales about the console wars — and thank god for that, because most "war stories" about console wars would be awful.

That's exactly what makes this comic by Stephen Maurice Graham hilarious — if we took the console war seriously, then we'd all have dramatic anecdotes about horrible online interactions like this one:

What We'll Tell Our Kids About The Console Wars


If you're wondering why the daughter in the first picture looks like that, my take is that the comic is supposed to depict some sort of post-apocalypse, and she's supposed to be like a mutant or something (think Fallout.) The post apocalypse in this case was caused by the console wars — cause they're serious business, remember?

You can check out more of Stephen Maurice Graham's work here.


    All it needs is some kind of fortress in the background run by the PC master race, who we all know won the war........

      In that case it'd probably be a giant iPhone since game companies all seem convinced that's where the money is ;)

      At least....thats the way it should have happened.

      Sadly with a lack of outside enemies, the PC master race turned on its own as a powerstruggle broke out over what security the walls should use and what was the best graphics card to render the brickwork. Talks broke down as the chat began to fill with hundreds of squeakers, trolls and bots
      Older members found they could not access the fortress and were met with condemnation and ridicule from their peers
      Eventually the fortress got hacked and script kiddies forced the inhabitants to dance against their will, The once great faction collapsed under it's own weight and fractured in to smaller zenophobic communites

      This is the way the war ended, not with a bang, but a U MAD BRO?

      Pretty much this.

      What the miscreants of this console war forget is that theirs isn't the first console war, nor will it be the last.

      Remember the great Nintendo-Sega wars of the 90's? I do, I was there man, on the front lines and we beat the Segans but good. However look at us now, a second rate console in a sea of third rate consoles. It happened to us, the proud, the few, the SNES and it'll happen to you to.

      The PC is the only platform that's been constant, it was there before the first console wars, it'll be there long after the names Xbox and PlayStation join the Master System and SNES as relics of a bygone age.

    I'll tell them that war? War never changes.

    Also I'm Ron Perlman. True story.

    Soon consoles will allow you access to codes that will nuke the opposition. Game Over

      $30 DLC

    The console war for me was Sega vs Nintendo in the 8 & 16bit era. Those were the days.
    The parents got me a NES therefore Ninty was better. Then for a birthday I got a Mega Drive so naturally Sega was better.

    Last edited 06/03/14 3:36 pm

      Man those were the days. It wasn't about the opposition being gay, it was all about the lies you'd tell about how amazing the next game on the system of your choice was, which you knew all about because your neighbour's uncle totally worked for Sega/Nintendo and let you play it. The other console hasn't got anything that amazing coming.

    I assumed the daughter was a freak because her father's best sperm had died off while masturbating to the Xbox.

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