Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect

Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect

Hearthstone, Blizzard's new digital card game, isn't just addictive as hell -- it's surprisingly funny too.

See, the very premise of Hearthstone is that the characters in the world of Warcraft have decided to take a break from murdering one another in order to play some cards. The main game is goofy and all, but you can find the best writing in the library, where every card has its own chunk of flavour text. Some are better than others, but they're all entertaining.

Here are a bunch of my favourites:

Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect
Hearthstone Cards Are Funnier Than You'd Expect

Comments

    Best part of getting new cards.

      Except whoever made this gallery doesn't actually own any of these cards.

    Man every time i get excited and back into this game again I lose at rank 20 to players who have 3-5 legendary cards per deck. The pay-to-win aspect of this game is becoming grating. I know it's the way all collectable card games are, but this game positions itself as "My First CCG", and should try to cater to the decisions that made WOW such a runaway success. Those decisions didn't include "alienating newcomers".

    I'm waiting for someone to say "you're just making mistakes" or "you need to have the correct build with exactly these cards and be meta" but that doesn't fly with new players, that advice won't work on average casual players. And it's not going to help any of the players who have spent hundreds on overpowering their deck when the userbase falls apart and they have nobody left to play against.

      Yeah I feel ya man, annoys me alot too. Oh look Deathwing, concede.

      The game is free to play - it costs you nothing to join.

      If you don't want to buy packs thats fine - but then you have to live with that limitation - if you bought into any other card game with a single starter deck you'd have to be pretty amazing to win that too.

      I ended up buying cards because I could afford it and only spent what I would on a new game - was worth it just to open up all those packs to be honest.

      To expand on what @cymelion said, you should be playing arena instead. It uses a draft format which means opponents only have cards they drafted for that set of matches, no legendaries unless they draw them. Arena is also how you unlock new decks without spending money, so if you get a few wins under your belt you'll unlock more cards, maybe a few legendaries or at least enough crafting materials to make them.

      Arena costs gold to play, but gold comes from daily quests. So you can do all this without having to spend anything.

        Yeah but how do you earn 150 gold from one quest a day that gives you 40-60 gold that requires you to win x amount of times against these legendary decks? I'd need to complete quests over 4 days to get enough for the Arena if only 40s came up. And then one day a week get to play arena, accruing, if my luck is bad enough, one pack.

        It's not unreasonable if you play this as a once a day short time waster sort of thing, but if you want to play for longer than around an hour it's a hard slog to make any real progress with the in game cash.

        Maybe there should be a global weekly quest that gives you more gold, in addition to the daily ones. Something there to always work towards in the week. Because my main issue is that there's no carrot in front of me, no light at the end of the tunnel, all I see are people with vastly overpowered decks that I have minimal chance of ever catching up to.

        I used to throw a "well played" their way when an opponent would pull a particularly cool move that undid my power plays. Now I just get angry and frustrated, these victories aren't earned, they are bought.

        Edit: Of course, after i finished writing this got 3 wins in a row with a character i haven't unlocked all of the starter cards for yet and gained 200 gold for an achievement of winning 100 matches overall haha

        Last edited 30/04/14 11:20 pm

          You get three quests a day (or I do, at least), can't remember how much they're worth off the top of my head though. I can understand the frustration thing, I did 5 arena runs last night and had 11 losses in a row across 3 decks.

            Nah it's only one a day with the option of up to three at a time. So if you go away for 3 days and come back you'll have three waiting for you, or if you take longer than a day to complete a quest you'll have two. But yeah, only one per day. Now do you understand the frustration!?

      If you play through all heroes against AI and gain all basic class cards for all heroes you get a lot of gold and the knowledge of how to combat all other classes. You then progress onto ranked matches where you will get your arse handed to you a lot. You learn from this and start to win, earning more gold via wins and Dailies. At this point you should be comfortable enough to try the Arena. An Arena key costs 150 gold but you are guaranteed to get a pack of cards as a reward. That's 50 gold more than a pack of cards, but if you win you potentially get some other reasonable rewards. This is how you should be gaining packs of new cards to help you along.

    that was fun to read in the arvo :) so many great wow puns :)

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