Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Console Wars author Blake Harris gave the internet another peek at the treasure trove of an historic Nintendo character guide recently. The main revelation this time is that the company insisted Wario "is not Mario's evil twin," but rather his "childhood friend." Wait a second. What?!?!

Ok, first: the relevant excerpt. Press The Buttons published some more pages from a 1993 Nintendo character guide — the same way that informed us of Yoshi's real name, among other things.

Here's the page on Wario:

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

We here at Kotaku aren't buying it. As Jason said when I first mentioned the apparent revelation: "Anyone who's played Super Mario Land 2 knows this is total horseshit."

I mean, think about it. The premise of that 1992 Game Boy game is that Wario has taken over Mario Land and moved into Mario's castle. He brainwashes the other citizens while Mario is away, which helps with the invasion. But still: how did he get into the castle? He had to get the key from somewhere. My bet is that he went to his parents — Mario's parents, whoever they may be — and asked for the spare key.

Mario is an Italian plumber who practically oozes cultural stereotypes from his pores. Do you really think his parents would just give their son's extra key to a "childhood friend?" Of course not. You've got to keep things in the family.

And on that note: why do you think that the crest on Mario's castle can swap so easily between an "M" and a "W."

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Would Mario really have made it so easy for his former "childhood friend" to just swap places with him? You let your friends crash at your place. Not trade places with you.

Also, just look at the two of them. Don't you see the brotherly similarities?

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

No? Ok, how about now?

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Still nothing? Ok, one more shot:

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Whatever. Wario is totally Mario's evil twin. If you ask me, the 1993 character guide was just the developer trying to cover its tracks after realising they'd just handed over so much indisputable proof to all the Nintendo nerds out there.

Other revelations from the new manual pages include the fact that Nintendo once made a horrible pun at Kirby's expense:

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

And the fact that Mario's two favourite types of music are opera and "new-wave, high-techno Euro pop."

Old Nintendo Manual Says Wario Is Mario's Childhood Friend, Which Is BS

Huh. Who new that gaming's leading man had even worse taste in music than I do?

One final note: if you haven't checked out Console Wars yet, you can read a very entertaining and informative chapter from the book right here.


Comments

    Luigi is Mario's twin brother. Idiot.

      Wrong. Luigi is Mario OLDER brother. This is why Luigi is taller.

        Wrong. Mario is the older brother. That's why he's the hero. Besides, the movie said so. And no-one can argue with the movie.

        wrong. They are twins and Mario is slightly older.
        http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luigi

    I've not ever read much into the origin of Wario, but to me he has always been some sort of weird disgruntled Mario cosplayer? If that makes any sense..

    Okay.
    Wario world 3. Best platformer ever. Better then mario.
    It needed to be said.

    This is a great example of why some people should not write articles while drunk.....

    So you're expecting us to believe that Mr and Mrs Mario had 2 pairs of twins who they called Mario and Wario and Luigi and Waluigi (keeping in mind that in Japanese the "wa-" prefix basically means "bad")? I NEVER thought Wario was Mario's literal evil "twin", I assumed he was just a bad version of Mario who existed because eh why not? I wouldn't necessarily think the two of them were childhood friends, but they were presumably just unrelated guys and Wario got jealous of Mario for hogging the spotlight and getting the girl (even if she still won't put out).

      Peach won't put out? You don't know what happens behind closed (castle) doors.

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