The Witcher 3 has blood and nudity by the boatload, but that stuff doesn’t fly in some countries. The result? A bit of silly censorship.
Warning: these videos are NSFW and contain Witcher 3 spoilers.
Censored Gaming captured scenes from The Witcher 3‘s Japanese and Middle Eastern versions, both of which dial back gore and nudity to some degree. First up, the gore. In this scene censored in both versions, we meet the amazing, entrail-less Hollllow Maaaaan:
They say if you look directly into his torso cavern, you see infinity. However, if you press too hard on him, he deflates.
Next up, we’ve got a scene — again altered in both Japan and the Middle East — where Geralt walks in on sorceress Keira bathing. In the uncensored version she is, as you might expect, completely naked. People tend to bathe that way. Keira, however, appears to have magically transformed herself into a never nude.
Speaking of nudity, here’s Yen discarding her top to have sex with Geralt and then, after the pair has ensured that their unicorn is freshly defiled (note: I’m gonna use “defiling the unicorn” as a euphemism for the rest of my life), she puts on a completely different top in the blink of an eye. Again, I blame magic.
Lastly, an interesting twist on the theme: while Japan and the Middle East maintained parity throughout the other scenes, this one remained uncensored in Japan, but featured a hastily clothed Yen in the Middle East:
So there you go. I totally get why these versions of the game were made (if they weren’t, it likely couldn’t be released in Japan and the Middle East), but you’ve gotta admit that the end result is a little goofy. Or maybe I’m way off base. Maybe bathing while clothed feels awesome. And I’ve never actually seen my own entrails, so maybe I’m completely hollow. These things are technically possible. Until I know for sure, though, join me in lightly chuckling using the “haha,” “hoho,” or “hee-hee” variants. All other forms should be regarded as obscene and are punishable by severe clothing.
Thanks for the tip, Dan.