Snackology is often referred to by completely real people as the loneliest of the sciences, but it doesn’t have to be. Join me and a host of Kotaku guest stars in our poorly-lit home office as we eat one of the best non-cookie Oreo products yet.
Launched in North America as a limited release last month, with a full roll-out expected in late January, Oreo candy bars are nothing new to our friends over in Europe. They’ve been enjoying chocolate filled with white stuff and chocolate cookies (or biscuits, for the fancy) for some time now.
Unable to find the bars locally, I turned to Amazon.com, where several helpful sellers were willing to supply Snacktaku with candy readily-available in their home markets at a substantial markup. I purchased a three pack of the standard chocolate candy bars for something like $US15 ($20), which wasn’t bad, and one massive Oreo Big Crunch Bar for $US20 ($27). Considering the Big Crunch was the size of one Mike Fahey head, that seems like a fair price.
That’s a pretty big chocolate bar right there. Also, a pretty big head.
Both bars offer the same basic ingredients — chocolate milked from the teats of the European Alps, white creme and chocolate cookies. The only real difference between the standard bar and the Big Crunch is creme to cookie ratio.
If you want a softer bite, go basic.
If you’d rather grind your teeth into some dark chocolate cookie crumbs, go Big Crunch.
Either way, what ends up in your mouth is quite tasty. Essentially these are milk chocolate-covered Oreos in bar form, and there is nothing wrong with that. Quite splendid. I can’t wait to see these on store shelves come January and not buy them, as I only generally buy candy for Snacktaku purposes, and this page of the Snacktaku Compendium of Eating Things has already turned.
I do have one caveat. If you’re going to purchase these bars in large numbers, be sure to bring some friends along. I highly recommend these folks here.
From left to right: Cecilia D’Anastasio, Heather Alexandra, Riley MacLeod, Nathan Crayfish, Gita Jackson, ’90s rap legend Snow.
Maybe not that last guy. He seems shady.