This weekend is gonna be like vacationing beneath the folds of Satan’s ballsack, we all know this. And in our own way we’re gonna have to manage it.
Me? I’m planning on drawing every goddamn curtain in the house and I’m playing video games.
Only one problem — what am I gonna do about the sweaty palms. How am I gonna stop the controller from feeling like a lubed-up collection bulbous ice cubes.
Ladies and gentleman, I have the solution.
What a pure genius idea. I’m only half joking.
It's so hot that my mates are using their rock climbing chalk when playing PS4 to stop their hands getting so sweaty!— James Kozanecki (@Aussie_Kozzy) February 9, 2017
As someone who is into rock climbing and has a lot of chalk at home, there is a slight flaw in this plan. Chalk can make a mess. Hand prints on your couch, controllers covered in chalk. It’s gonna suck.
So, plan B.
Warning: strange, sexual sounding paragraph incoming.
For those of you who have never had the pleasure, liquid chalk is magical. You squirt a little on your hand, rub furiously and after about 10 seconds something weird starts happening. Friction. Suddenly your hands are gonna be sticky as hell.
Liquid chalk is pure wizardry. Pretty pricey though. Usually about $15 at climbing stores or climbing gyms.
So yeah, you could do that. Or just get a fan. Or just play with a sweaty controller.
Christ, do what you like, I’m not your real Dad.