David Hayter Delivers A Rousing Performance Re: Solid Snake’s Arse

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Metal Gear’s Solid Snake has a big fat arse. This basic underpinning of our universe has now reached all corners of the internet, including Solid Snake’s longtime voice actor.

Solid Snake is the leading character in a game about stealth, so it stands to reason that he would wear something akin to a catsuit in the Metal Gear games. What is more curious is how he gets his catsuit to outline his individual arse cheeks.

Snake’s arse is exactingly rendered, and beloved by Metal Gear fans. When fans realised that Snake’s arse looked flatter in the previews for Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, they were aghast. Such is their devotion to Snake’s arse.

In early January, Twitter user Snow_Radish made a joke about Snake’s rotund posterior. In case you aren’t aware of what “dummy thicc” means, just know that it actually accurately describes the proportions of Solid Snake’s buttocks. Though not all would agree, I feel as though Snake’s butt cheeks are at the size where accidentally clapping your arse is a real risk for him.

Snow_Radish’s tweet went mildly viral:

Hrrrrnnggh Colonel, I’m trying to sneak around but I’m dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards

— Sasuke Poochiha (@Snow_Radish) January 12, 2019

That same day, Hachikosyndrome tweeted herself reading Snow_Radish’s joke while mimicking David Hayter’s longtime rendition of Solid Snake’s voice.

hm pic.twitter.com/Hl1pLaxgkd

— BIG ASS YOMP (@hachikosyndrome) January 12, 2019

Hayter’s gravelly intonations and distinctive cadence are synonymous with Solid Snake in the West. If you check out his page on Cameo, a website where you can pay voice actors and other minor celebrities to record video messages, all of his most recent requests are Hayter saying “happy birthday” to various people as Solid Snake.

Combining Solid Snake, the idea of being horny, and the phrase “dummy thicc” proved to be irresistible to people on the internet. Some people on TikTok even took to acting out the tweet.

this is my favorite tik tok ever pic.twitter.com/dgW7Jk1QG5

— Evelynn (@MCRlDE) January 28, 2019

This joke has since gained enough popularity so that Hayter has not only seen it, he’s recorded his own version of the phrase.

Hayter said in a tweet that he personally recorded himself saying the words “dummy thicc” for his friend’s son, who is active on TikTok. Every time I hear it or think about it, I start laughing. He’s just so angry by the end. Solid Snake cannot abide his arse-clapping alerting the guards.

If you want to make Hayter say something equally ridiculous, go on ahead and check him out on Cameo. For only $US50 ($70), he’ll wish you a happy birthday, or, I don’t know, recite the lyrics to “Twerk” by City Girls ft. Cardi B.