Sonic Is A Doctor and Psychiatrist Now, Thanks To Sega

Sonic Is A Doctor and Psychiatrist Now, Thanks To Sega
Side effects include sweating, spikes, and drawing inappropriate fan art. (Gif: Sega / Kotaku)

Sega’s never-ending quest to put Sonic the Hedgehog in all the things continues today with a special 30th anniversary crossover event with Two Point Hospital, of all games. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy Rose as medical practitioners? Can’t be that much worse than normal American healthcare.

As much fun as it is to imagine Sonic and his furry pals performing delicate surgeries with their massive white gloves (well, initially white at least), today’s free Sonic crossover content only includes costumes for your regular human medical practitioners to wear, which probably isn’t all that much better, now that I think about it. Look, if you’re going to have to wear a mask, why not a giant hedgehog mask? Sheesh, modern medicine is always so serious. Tell me you wouldn’t feel more comfortable in a hospital decked out in Sonic decorations than some “safe” and “sterile” medical establishment. Just look at this stuff.

A room I could die in.  (Screenshot: Sega) A room I could die in. (Screenshot: Sega)

Not only does the free DLC come with fancy costumes that expose your workers human arms, it’s got a whole bunch of Sonic-themed decorations as well. There are giant rings, throw rugs, posters, impossibly geometric plants, and more, all ready to transform your Two Point Hospital into at least a three or four point one, if that’s how that works. Why, if the hospital where I had heart surgery back in 2018 had Sonic decorations and costumes, I’d probably be so dead right now. But if the last thing I saw would have been Sonic the Hedgehog holding a scalpel over my chest, that would have rocked.

Sweetening the pot even further, Two Point Hospital is now free-to-play on Steam until August 2, with a free trial on Switch until August 3, and part of Xbox Gold Free Play Days until August 1, with deep discounts across all three platforms. So go build a hospital, dress up your staff in Sega cosplay, and revel in how ridiculous the situation is.

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