The Steam Deck is still not yet available to purchase in Australia. Sure, you can jump through all sorts of hoops to get one sent over from the US, but it’s a whole damn thing that I’m pretty sure involves going into an underground tavern and making a deal with Real World Rumpelstiltskin, who is like regular Rumpelstiltskin but worse in ways I can’t even describe.
However, just because they’re not available in Australia just yet, that doesn’t mean that you won’t catch them out in the wild. I learned that at PAX Australia this year, where I got the chance to spend a supremely intimate 15 minutes with a Steam Deck playing Tempopo. It’s had an overwhelming effect on me, and I’d like to talk about it.
It was Friday. The first day of PAX. I dragged myself through the PAX Rising floor, leaving a trail of glowing slime in my path like a human-sized slug. There I was, absolutely chomping at the bit to play some Aussie-made gems. Then I saw Tempopo and was filled with glee. And then…
Ruby x Steam Deck #PAXAUS pic.twitter.com/X8ueB5BxYX
— David Smith (@RhunWords) October 7, 2022
Then I saw the Steam Deck, and it was as if my sluggish form was taking a salt shower. The surrounding crowd parted as I melted in a hot, stinky spectacle and everybody felt really weird about what was happening. I then, through the power of pure belief in myself, conglomerated my bones and muck back up into a functional body and approached the booth to play.
So here’s the deal. The Steam Deck rocks. Of course, there’s the obvious comparison to the Nintendo Switch to be made and physically, it is basically like a bigger Nintendo Switch with the main buttons situated higher on the console. This actually makes it a lot easier to get around the doodahs, as well as makes ample space for the touchpads located on both sides. This was good, and I liked it.
While I only played Tempopo on this day (and very much enjoyed doing so), having the knowledge of an expansive library existing at my fingertips with the Steam Deck filled me with a feeling unlike any other. The thought of being able to play PC games in the same fashion as I would play Switch games made me want to bust. I was frothing at the mouth, I was rabid like a messed up little dog. David was worried for me.
There’s nothing worse than being told just how good something is when the availability of said thing is so poor. As I walked away from the booth, I immediately felt a sense of longing that I have never experienced before. I was like a cat in heat without the gross desire to have a barbed abomination all up in my guts. That was the tipping point. I wanted a Steam Deck. I still do.
So I come here with a direct message to Gabe Newell. Gabe, buddy. My buddy ol’ guy. Pal. Australians have seen the Steam Deck, and some of them have even been able to get their hands on one. They like it, and they would like to have it. ‘They’ means me. I would like a Steam Deck. I will do horrible, unthinkable things. I can’t sleep. I’m eating drywall. I’m speaking in a language I made up that I’m convinced bugs can understand. My life is in shambles.
This article has been updated since it was first published.
Leave a Reply