It’s time we talked about the truth of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom’s Korok seeds: They’re poop.
This isn’t entirely a revelation. The collect-a-thon seeds were already heavily implied to be the faeces of those adorable Koroks in other games. The item’s descriptions in both Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom reads, “This small seed was given to you by a Korok. It has a distinct smell. If you gather a bunch of them, you never know what may happen…”
In Tears of the Kingdom, Spirited Musician of Korok Forest Hestu asks you to bring these “seeds” to him so he can use them in his maracas, just as he did in Breath of the Wild. In exchange, he’ll expand-a-band your inventory for melee weapons, bows, and shields. If you can find him, that is.
After you max out your inventory and return all the Korok seeds to Hestu, you’ll find out what happens when you get a bunch of little poops and put them together: You get one big poop! Yes, that’s the “prize” you earn if you manage to collect all 900 seeds, at least in Breath of the Wild. So far, I haven’t seen anyone get all the seeds in Tears of the Kingdom.
The reward for completing such an arduous task is a massive troll. Firstly, you only need about half of the total Korok seeds to max out your inventory slots. But beyond being, literally, a pile of shit, the reward item “Hetsu’s Gift” doesn’t even do anything. It’s not even a fancy magic poop with forest faecal matter powers. It’s just poop. The description reads, “A gift of friendship given to you by Hestu. It smells pretty bad.” No longer “distinct”, now the smell is “pretty bad”. It also looks more similar to the poop emoji, which makes sense since Hestu is bigger than all the other little Koroks.
If you think I’m reaching by pointing out the smelly truth of Korok seeds, the director of Breath of the Wild himself confirmed as much. Hidemaro Fujibayashi told IGN after the 2017 Game Awards that the team “thought it would be funny to make that a big joke.”
“It’s just the backstory, the kind of hidden kind of thing in the game the whole way is that the Korok seeds are actually Korok poop,” Fujibayashi continued.
Even before this definitive proof, fans suspected that Hestu was having us all carry around and fetch him poop. Still, it seems the truth hasn’t reached everyone. In a very scientific poll among Kotaku staffers playing Tears of the Kingdom, only 25 per cent said they were aware of the faecal fact. The rest were unaware, with 13 per cent simply answering “No” and the majority of respondents justifiably responding with “Excuse me?”
I will not stand for this. I must educate the masses on the truth about Korok seeds. Poop truthers unite. Just, please be nice to the Koroks anyway. Even if they are handing you their poops.
The Cheapest NBN 1000 Plans
Looking to bump up your internet connection and save a few bucks? Here are the cheapest plans available.