More often than she plays the part of lewd Twitch and Kick streamer Amouranth, 29-year-old Kaitlyn Siragusa is a businesswoman. But she’s primarily in the business of her body, hawking “made-to-order” water from her hot tub (sold out), a few strands of hair and her fart in a jar for a $US400 sale price (sold out), and OnlyFans subscriptions that reportedly net her $US1.5 million a month to a mostly male audience.
Some of these audience members hate her violently, maybe because they can’t stand how much they love being tantalized by her. Her latest business venture—a line of beer brewed with her vaginal bacteria—might act as a panacea, then. Crack open a cold one, boys. Chill the hell out and eat liquified pussy.
Siragusa went into details about the beer, a collaboration with horny Polish brewery The Order of Yoni (the Sanskrit word for the sacred vulva), in an October 26 Dexerto interview. She plans to separately start her own beverage company, but, for now, she’s focused on sending The Order of Yoni her pap smear cervical cells.
How Amouranth’s vagina beer is made
The brewer’s website says that, once it picks “the Goddess we want to put in a bottle”—in this case, a streamer who dabbles in sexy Spider-Man cosplay—a gynecologist takes a smear so that it can isolate vaginal lactic acid bacteria. There’s nothing dirty about it, The Order of the Yoni swears. All of its “lyophilized bacteria are tested for the presence of foreign DNA and/or RNA,” the Order says on its site, so that its final product, a sour ale made with sterling lactic acid, is “completely safe and healthy.”
The Order assures spiritual benefits to its scientific pussy juice, too. “One of the initial Sumerian branches of the Order worshiped the Great Deity’s Avatar, Ninhursag,” the brewer’s website says. “Sumerian Kings drank her ‘milk,’ but only the Order knew that there was no ‘milk,’ but it was the lactic acid bacteria of Her reincarnations, used by the Order’s Masters in brewing process using Ninhursag sacrament.” Sounds healthy to me—I might swap my fiber intake out for it.
“It’s hilarious,” Siragusa told Dexerto. “People will buy [the beer] for sure. I don’t know if they’ll actually drink it. I mean, they’ll probably drink it.”
Guys online will definitely drink Siragusa’s beer, but some of them are uncomfortable with such a consuming level of worship. Amouranth’s genitalia? In their blessed beer? “What happened? What happened to people and society? Is everyone getting crazy these days?” one popular Reddit comment says.
“The fact that this will sell out is the grossest part of the whole thing,” YouTuber Boogie2988 echoed on Twitter.
It’s all right, guys. Pretty girls aren’t always out to get you. Sometimes a vagina beer is just a vagina beer. But on the off chance that you do get hurt—ask yourself why you keep paying for it.
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