Confession time: When I need a break from video games, my go-to comfort food is the trashiest reality TV possible. My knowledge of Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules lore may go even deeper than that of Final Fantasy or Yakuza. So you can only imagine my delight when I found out that one of the newest cast members on TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé is not just a gamer, but a Hardcore Gamer.
I only just spotted this, thanks to a recent GamesRadar piece, but it seems that Kentucky native Clayton Clark has been on the show’s 10th season for several months now. (It began airing in November 2023.) But if you’re a fan of Old School Runescape, the 2007 MMORPG from Jagex that’s seen a remarkable surge in popularity in recent years, you probably know Clayton for a very different reason—he’s one of the world’s top players and has dedicated more than 20,000 hours to the game. Among his many accomplishments in OSRS, Clayton is the game’s rank-one Magic user. According to GamesRadar, this means “he’s the first to reach 200 million experience in the skill – roughly 187 million XP more than what you need to actually hit the max level of 99.” Neat!
The current season of 90 Day Fiancé (which is streaming on Max and Discovery+) follows the budding romance between Clayton and his Peruvian bride-to-be Anali. As is customary, the show’s producers and editors have given the utmost attention to highlighting everything awkward and unpleasant about this romance. And while the editors seem to be milking the whole “antisocial gamer dork” trope for all it’s worth, it becomes clear pretty early on that enjoying video games might just be the most relatable thing about this guy.
In an elegantly titled clip from the official 90 Day Fiance YouTube channel, Anali Gives Clayton Blue Balls!, our hapless gamer attempts to seduce his best girl in her hotel room, sprawling across her bed. “Maybe he thought he looked like a model, but to me he looked like a cow all splayed out,” Anali recalls.
From there, things take a sharp turn into blood-curdling awkwardness, as Clayton gives Anali a massage and then a neck-wrenching smooch for the camera. She says she wants to go to sleep. I would prefer to jump out of a window in this scenario, but to each their own.
In a confessional immediately following this awful interlude, Clayton takes it upon himself to explain to Anali what blue balls are. (No, she didn’t ask.) He begins, in Spanish, “When a guy is ready to make babies…” Reader, if the massage made me want to jump out of a window, this made me want to jump out of my skin. After several moments of screaming internally, Anali gamely says “that’s nasty” and laughs it off. It’s not too late for you, sweetie!
Later, during a couples’ dinner, Clayton complains to a server about his nonexistent sex life while ordering a margarita flight. When Anali is visibly annoyed by this, but says nothing, Clayton jokes, “What’s she gonna do? Not have sex with me?” The other guy plays along a little more than he should as the women exchange can you believe these dipshits? glances. Meanwhile, Clayton continues to dig himself into a hole. Later, Anali astutely points out that the double date feels less like “a fun moment” and more like a passive-aggressive way for Clayton to criticize her.
I’m all for upending lazy, outdated stereotypes about socially inept gamers who need to touch grass. But you can’t deny that this is compelling cringe at its finest. I guess I’m re-upping my (HBO) Max subscription.
Oh, did I mention that this guy’s mother sleeps in his closet? Yeah.
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