50 Free Tickets To Mongol Movie: The Easiest Thing You Will Ever Win

50 Free Tickets To Mongol Movie: The Easiest Thing You Will Ever Win
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So. Here’s the deal. I’ve heard that Mongol is really quite good, if you’re into the whole nomadic-tribe-of-brutal-warriors genre. Distributor Hopscotch reckons it’s a neat film too. As such, it has provided Kotaku AU 50 free passes to give away.

Here’s a description of the film from the official website:

Award-winning filmmaker Sergei Bodrov (PRISONER OF THE MOUNTAINS) illuminates the life and legend of Genghis Khan in his stunning historical epic, MONGOL. Based on leading scholarly accounts and written by Bodrov and Arif Aliyev, MONGOL delves into the dramatic and harrowing early years of the ruler who was born as Temudgin in 1162.

As it follows Temudgin from his perilous childhood to the battle that sealed his destiny, the film paints a multidimensional portrait of the future conqueror, revealing him not as the evil brute of hoary stereotype, but as an inspiring, fearless and visionary leader.

MONGOL shows us the making of an extraordinary man, and the foundation on which so much of his greatness rested: his relationship with his wife, Borte, his lifelong love and most trusted advisor.

Got it? Excellent. Now for the competition details! You remember that game you played in school where someone would say a word, and then the person next to them would say another word, and so on, until you got this really disjointed, though often funny, story? We’re going to do the same thing with the comments system. But a bit different. We’ll be writing sentences instead of single words, because we’re a smart lot.

All you have to do is write a sentence, no more than 25 words in length, as a comment to this story, to be in with a chance. It must make sense in context with the sentence in the post before it. Our comments system is approval-based, so don’t spam your comment if it doesn’t appear straight away. We got it, honest. I’ll go through all the submitted comments and approve the ones I think work best. This will continue until we have 50 sentences, at which point I’ll make the last. I’ll then publish the completed story as a new post, along with all the winners.

Each person that adds a clean and worthwhile sentence to the story will receive a free pass to Mongol, valid from June 13 to June 15. That’s next weekend, folks. It’s admit two, so bring a friend!

Please include your email address in the supplied field of our comments system, or else we won’t be able to get your address to send out your pass! The competition will run all day and the weekend, or until we hit 50 sentences, with the winners posted on June 9. You must be an Australian resident to enter. The passes are valid Australia-wide, at all cinemas showing the film.

I’ll get things started:

David loved dancing. Ballroom dancing. This wouldn’t have been much of a problem, if he wasn’t a bloodthirsty, 8th century Mongol.

Now start posting you crazy devils!

Mongol [Official site]


  • As it was, he was forced to practice his moves, including the feared “Khan’t touch this” in the privacy of his family yurt.

  • One bloodthirsty day as David was happily prancing away in privacy, he noticed an eye, watching him through a hole in his yurt.

  • Startled, he stumbled out of a cha cha, did an involuntary pirouette in his del and fell through the open doorway onto something warm and furry.

  • Pushing back his loovus, David was instantly blinded by the sun. As his eyes adjusted he realised “warm and furry” was also long-toothed and angry.

  • Startled by this realisation, he racked his brains, recalling several dance steps which would aide him against the long-toothed angry, yet “warm and furry” foe.

  • “STOP!” the hairy beast roared. “We will never defeat the Tanguts with dancing like THAT! It’s embarrasing.”

  • David furrowed his brow as the beast performed dance moves that far surpassed his own. “Come!” the beast said, as he walked down the narrow path.

  • “I will show you how to dance like a god and bring the Tanguts to their knees!” The beast roared while performing a ciseaux.

  • “You see David?” the beast sneered. “You move like this and sway like that..” David, who had never witnessed such a performance was inclined to try. “Let me warn you though David, These very dance moves were passed down from generations..it may not be so easy.” The Yet noted.

  • The roar turned to a whimper as a mighty blast from a Tangut warhorn rolled down from the hills. David’s eyes rolled, “Here we go.”

  • The Beast and his light-footed companion quickened their pace uphill, gritting teeth & batting off arrows with swords mid-air, then landing with a synchronized hip-twist, a strut, a spin, and a thrust.

  • Thousands of Tanguts break danced down the slopes, some favouring the running man, others the worm, David readied himself for the impending dance off.

  • David stepped forth, eager to begin his routine when the Beast grasped his arm, “David, there is something you must know” it said quietly.

  • “If you wish to come out of this battle alive.” roared the beast, “We must dance as one, in perfect harmony.” David reached out and reluctantly grabbed hold of the beasts hand.

  • The two soft-shoed heroes jetted their way through the expertly-choreographed hordes, pirouetting around flurries of jazz-hands and dodging the deadly barrages of spirit-fingers.

  • Tungut-two turned to Tangut-three, “Samba-dee better be ready to cha-cha-cha, the mongols aren’t moonwalking out of here.”

  • Before David and The Beast could complete their unified, Electric Boogaloo inspired Twist-o-flex; a mighty rumble shook the very ground they stood upon.

  • The beast stopped and doubled over in its tracks. David let out a blood curdling scream, “NO! He just got served!”

  • David whipped into action, busting out high kicks as he sang karaoke style the title song from Xanadu, taking out the Tanguts with each thrust

  • David put on his ballroom uniform which was very pretty and blinded many Tanguts because it was so bright and shiny.

  • The Tangut warlord watched in shame from the mountain peak. “It is time to show them who is the true Lord of the Dance.”

  • David felt a shiver run down his spine mid hip-thrust, and fear slowly stilled his prancing feet as he heard, in the distance, the very sounds of death itself: tin whistles and fiddles; the soundtrack from Riverdance.

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