Injury: Why Real Sport Is For Chumps

"Hey, where's Serrels today?" Glad you asked. Yesterday he discovered he is most definitely not Tony Hawk and he's recovering today. We're lucky his arm didn't snap clean off. But real world injuries happen when it's been so long since a spanking new skating game hit the shelves. So in the spirit of praising the virtual... what's your greatest injury that proves why the couch is better than the real world? Or have your couch injuries trumped them all?

I used to play rep basketball, and I fractured a few bones over the years. Legs. Hands. And plenty of bruising. Never had that sort of trouble playing the hell out of NBA Street and Homecourt (my fave b'ball titles... dig the arcade fun more than the sims... and NBA Jam goes without saying) no matter how many times I got shoved on my butt or shattered glass backboards all over myself.

What's your real world sport scene / death trap activity of choice? What's the worst you've done to yourself? Do you keep going back for more or have you sworn an oath of loyalty to your couch?


Comments

    Don't go thinking you're any safer on the couch. A few weeks ago I spent a couple of hours playing Killzone 3 online, got up off the couch and promptly collapsed on the floor due to some weird tendon inflammation thing in my ankle that came out of nowhere. Spent 3 days on crutches, painkillers, physio the lot.

    The lesson to be learned here is: once you're on the couch, don't get up again.

    I use to skate alot and use to get sprained arms, hands, legs, ankles and scrapes and grazes all the time but i kept going back. I did baseball for a few years and I threw out my arm bad one year and couldnt keep doing it, anytime I throw something hard without really warming up I leave my arm in huge pain for a few hours.

    Well worst I've done is screwed my back playing beach volleyball, which pretty much put me out of sport permanently.

    Nastiest I've had is when I sliced open my hand when leaving a basketball match. Embarrassing story involving me trying to take a short cut to get home, and ending with me slicing my hand open, severing a nerve, and going to hospital to get micro surgery. Still don't have feeling in my middle finger.

    So I pretty much just stick to my couch now :P

    My worst injury was when my left knee dislocated causing me to fall down and as I was falling it was forced back into its socket. Several bits of bone got chipped off and I had to have surgery to fix it all up. It was the worst pain I've ever been in.

    Thing is it didn't happen while I was playing sports or some other activity. I was simply standing. I'd walked into the lounge room, saw my Mum had the TV on, stood there watching it for about 30 seconds and then, BAM!, down I go.

    And before anyone says it no I am not some fat guy whos legs can't support his own weight. My knees just suck.

    Hmmm...

    1. Primary school soccer - Toe-bashed the ball, tearing every tissue in my big toe. Surgury and 6 weeks on crutches.

    2. Indoor Soccer - No where near as bad, but copped a knee of a very big greek in my stomach, winding me to the point where i couldn't breath properly for 20 minutes and my stomach was bruised and sore for weeks.

    3. Not a sport industry, but when i was in high school i learnt a cool kung-fu move from watching too much tv. Basically the one where the bad guy catches your leg, so you leap up on your one free leg, kick them in the face, spinning so you land on your free leg again. I did it twice and thought i was the master, so i decided to show some of the guys on the basketball court... the ashpault basketball court.
    Well my friend held my leg too tight and i came tumbling down, face first, as he was still holding one of my legs in the air.
    I smashed 2 front teeth and cracked my right wrist on one side and shattered it on the other.. my first broken bone :)

      Ah Chuloopa, I also have an indoor soccer injury.

      Big greek guy tries to kick the ball away from me while I'm in possession. Instead of the ball, he boots me right in the foot. Dislocated my toe.

      It sucked. You could say I've retired from the indoor soccer circuit now...

        I also have an indoor soccer injury!

        Got bumped by someone, fell awkwardly on a concrete floor and broke my arm in two places :(

      I suppose poor Big Mumma Chuloopa had to wipe your ass for ages after that!

        Crude.

        My left arm was still perfectly fine

      2 of my worst injuries-

      1. In prep, a grade 6(or 6th grader, however you want to say it) ran into me whilst I was running, knocking me on the concrete school walkways which had small jagged rocks scattered and cemented in the ground, and so, one of them managed to pierce the back of my head. Every time when I cut my hair now, you can see a bald spot.

      2. Before my M.M.A class, me and my friend used to grapple, one day I tripped back and stupidly stuck my hand out. He landed on top of me whilst I was falling full force on the ground, breaking my radius, "fork"(doctors quote) bending the bones in my wrist and fracturing my ulna.

    It's not as if you can't damage yourself playing video games though.

    I damaged my ulnar nerve playing Ace Combat 6 at my desk. I played through the whole game in basically two sittings - two because I broke in the middle for lunch and had a pee break at the same time. I was playing for hours with my elbows resting on the edge of the desk, so that the fleshy bit was digging into the edge. Hands up infront of my face, holding the controller, pulling down the right trigger a lot as well since that's your speed boost.

    For the following three weeks, the right side of my hand, my little finger and part of my ring finger were completely numb. If I rest my weight on my elbows for a few minutes even now, years later, my hand will go numb again. :(

      I damaged the same nerve during a mammoth Resident Evil 4 play through a few years back now. I was half lying on the couch leaning on my right elbow for about 7 hours.
      Mine is only one arm but the numbness stretched up to the elbow and still comes back from time to time too.

    Im probably the only one of my mates who isnt into sports. So much so that I dont even play sport games (unless they are completely unrealistic like NBA Jam).

    Gotta admit I've failed pretty hardcore while skating, a few broken fingers here and there.
    But I always come back for more, I don't know why, it's just the thrill of the chase. The excitement of finally achieving your goal.

    My PS3 controller makes me feel like I have a major sprain/minor fracture running down my hand... and my longest session so far is <3 hours.

    Need an alternative :)

      The new Batman controller that is shaped like a 360 controller will suit you fine! :P

    I put my right foot in the way of a huge ogre taking a shot during a game of indoor soccer. Broke my ankle. It now has two metal pins in it.
    However, that's nowhere near as awful as this past Sunday where I played horribly and was liable for all 15 goals the other team scored. Humiliation and getting yelled at by gigantic jocks means I'm never going back. It's much less brutal to be consoled by my consoles.

    Need HindenLagen response - he's shown that his couch is better than his hand...

      I've been trying to put that nerd rage incident behind me cracks, but it keeps resurfacing.

      On topic, I play indoor soccer every week and I've come away with some impressive bruises over the years. Nothing permanent yet :-)

    I have no major injuries to report, but I was reading this thread on Reddit about "pathetic" injuries that seems rather appropriate.

      Actually, there is one story of me getting hurt. Not so much an injury to relegate me to the couch, but an amusing tale nonetheless.

      As a wee lad, I would often go to the AFL matches at the Gabba. I still go, although they're a fair bit more painful to watch these days, even with this story in mind. During these days, my family and I would sit pretty much directly behind the goals.

      Most of the time, my brother and I would actually stand at the fence directly behind the goal umpire. If you look closely during the "Mark of the Century" (round 22, 1995 by Shaun Smith from the Melbourne Demons) you might see a blonde kid picking his nose. That's my brother.

      Anyhow, this position behind the goals did have one downside. The ball would fly into the crowd and anyone not paying attention, such as a young kid with a short attention span like myself, might get hit in the head.

      That happened. To me. When Jason Dunstall was lining up a career milestone shot on goal (either 1000 career goals or 100 goals in a season, I forget which. It's hard to remember when you get hit in the head). He missed the goal but hit me square in the noggin.

      Well, he probably did. My memory is a little fuzzy.

    This falls onto the death trap side of the spectrum. I was making rockets with my cousin and launching them. One went so high we lost sight of it, but most of them failed after launch.

    We got bored and put all the rocket candy into a bottle to make it shoot fire out the top(stupid). I dropped in some sparklers to ignite it.

    The pressure could not escape quickly enough and the bottle exploded almost instantly. I was wearing shorts and my legs got a fair bit of shrapnel (but missed my Trifoce tattoo :D ).

    The blast was heard several km away and we immediately drove back to the house bleeding everywhere and an ambulance was called. They asked if it was a pipe bomb and for some reason my aunt said yes?!?!??

    The ambulance did not enter the street until the police car arrived and then they asked me if I had thoughts about blowing up buildings.

    Ended up in the ER for stitches and have some nice scars to show from it all. My wife still lets me play with rockets, but I have to buy engines from the hobby shop, not make them myself.

    I haven't broken anything (yet), but I've lost a lot of skin.
    http://vimeo.com/18410880

    Also had a pretty harsh stack while boarding in NZ - elbowed myself in the chest, right where my phone was sitting in my jacket.
    I heard something pop, but I could still breathe and move my arms (kinda), so I figured I was okay.
    Got it checked out though, and I'd torn the muscles from my ribs. Sitting up and sneezing was absolute agony for the next 3-4 months.

    Good times!!

    Sorry I don't have any footage of Serrels bailing. I didn't even see it. We were out on a nice quiet family stroll, so I figured nothing too extreme would happen. But yeah, he was at the CAN'T-TALK-NOW-GOING-TO-VOMIT level of pain.

      What camera are you guys using? the quality is AMAZING!

        GoPro HD - not great indoors, but pretty awesome otherwise!
        http://www.gopro.com/

        I did a quick comparison with the Countour HD on Giz - bit long winded, but hopefully helpful :)
        http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/05/going-on-tour-with-the-contour/

        Contour also have a new model out, but I haven't had a chance to check it out yet.
        http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/05/contour-maximisises-the-extreme-in-your-adventure-videos/

          Thanks for linking these Ben! Now, to plot a way to get my hands on one of these babies..

      Elbowed in the chest? How the hell do you manage that without some joints bending at crazy angles they're not meant to go at?? Or is that kinda the point?

        I was feeling brave with all the pow, and hit a jump that was a bit out of my range.
        Turned out it was icy, and I freaked out a bit - lost my balance as soon as I aired - ended up falling onto the hard edge of the table top.
        My left arm was crossed over my chest when I hit.
        Hurts just remembering it :)

    As I child I was out in the backyard going up and down the path on my skateboard decked out in a helmet, elbow pads and kneepads, until I stumbled over, landing on my face and breaking a front tooth.

    I busted my ankle playing frisbee with my nephew on mothers day. I spent 2 weeks at home unable to move around due to the ridiculous amount of tissue and tendon damage (no break though). Used this as an excuse to finally put a dent in my pile of sham.
    Moral of the story. Busted ankle = 2 weeks of game time.

    What we really need to know is: where on YouTube can we find the video of Serrels stacking it???

    Hockey, State final got rugby tackled going for the goal and snapped my kneecap in half. Kept playing and it swelled up over the top of my shin pad so they had to cut it off. We still lost.

    Chipped my skull above my eye during baseball once. I used to pitch and copped a return shot right in the face.

    Sheesh, wow, I've never had any major injuries...
    I did get bitten by four bees in the face once when I was gardening...

    Fractured my right foot when a table tennis table collapsed during High School, put me out of commission for 6 weeks, but hey managed to pass time by playing Ragnorak Online (back in the day :P)

    I slipped over on the tiled floor of our toilet when I was about 5. Legs went out behind me, landed mouth first on the front of the wooden toilet seat - thing still had a perfect indentation of my two front teeth years later.

    1. Get well soon Mark

    2. Broke my neck twice playing Rugby in highschool. Broke, as in "no longer worked properly". First time I had 2 of my vertebrae grid each other's dendrites down to powder, followed my them dislocating. Second time around, just a re-dislocation

    I've also had a Rugby tag crush my left eyeball. Burst in the middle, took ages to recover.

    And then one time I sprained both ankles simultaneously...

    And if the doctor weren't stopping me, I'd still be playing.

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