Duke Nukem Forever - without drawing on cliche, it truly was a game that divided audiences. Everyone pretty much agreed on the fact that the game itself wasn't exactly 'good', but the disagreements reigned over whether it really mattered? There were those that were happy to play despite the fact it was a little rough around the edges, and those that weren't.
Now, a couple of months after release, Kotaku reader ShiggyNinty has taken the time to deliver a reader review in order to kickstart that debate one more time!
And as always the best review each month receives a Blu-ray pack from Madman Entertainment.
Take it away Shiggy!
Duke Nukem Forever So after 14 years, countless engine changes, being in the hands of 4 different developers and what seems like forever, we finally get to play Duke Nukem Forever. But does it live up to the hype and expectations? Read on beloved reader and I’ll inform you... if you can handle my Balls of Steel!
Loved Hail to the King: Duke’s back and he’s still the same egotistical, chauvinistic, macho meathead we’ve come to love (or hate). He still throws out one liners like there’s no tomorrow and they genuinely made me laugh. The game plays like it was from 1996 and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, just something that you have to get used to. It’s clunky and slow at first but soon you’ll be blasting away pigcops like they’re nothing.
I got no time to play with myself: There’s a lot to see and do in Duke’s world. Play pool! Play pinball! Put a rat in a microwave! Draw giant penises on whiteboards! Most things you do in game help increase your ego (the Duke version of a health bar). I found that I would just walk around in the world just seeing what I could interact with and it’s half the fun, I mean what’s not fun about writing “[email protected]!k You” in some poor kids book?
Step right up and get some: Multiplayer is a hell of a time for both good and bad reasons. You make your own Duke through completing challenges and unlocking hats, glasses (seeing Duke’s eyes is scary...) and shirts. You have your usual games like Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, King of the Hill and Capture the Babe. There’s also challenges to complete like killing a certain amount of players with certain guns and so forth which help you level up. There’s a lot of fun to be had shrinking players and stomping them into nothing.
Here’s me holding up the world: When you level up in MP, you gain items in “My Digs” which is a giant apartment that you can fill with useless junk. Although useless, I found it exciting when I levelled up to run around to see what I got. I want that pinball machine goddamnit!
Take a bite of Duke’s special pain cake: The arsenal in this game is a hell of a lot of fun to use. The shotgun packs such a good punch and it feels like it does real damage. The usual Duke weapons are here too including the shrink ray, freeze ray and the good old Devastators. The only problem is...
Hated Good, bad, I’m the guy with the gun: Why the hell can I only carry two guns? Look how big Duke’s arms are! Can’t he carry more than two guns? Duke can make fun of Halo as much as he wants but carrying two guns ain’t the Duke I love.
Looks like Lady Luck gave you the finger: The difficulty in this game, even on normal can be a bit full on. It especially ramps up when you crank it up to insane. I dreaded reaching certain parts because I knew I would have trouble - and I did... to the point I wanted to snap the disc in half and throw it into a volcano then throw the volcano into space.
What are you waiting for? Christmas?: DEAR GOD THE LOAD TIMES! I played this on Xbox 360 and I truly was terrified of dying knowing I’d have to wait a good 30-40 seconds to reload and try again. I’ve heard the load times on PC and PS3 are better but I haven’t been told how much better.
Connected! Disconnected: Multiplayer, although fun, is only fun when you can get a decent game going. I found myself being able to play a lot of games for about 5 minutes before I dropped out, and that’s not mentioning the lag which is infuriating at points. Some games I’ll shoot but don’t hit the person I’m aiming at, and then jet across to the other side of the room, then explode into a thousand pieces , then repeat until I’m kicked.
So after 14 years is Duke Nukem Forever worth your time? I can’t answer that. For me personally it was but for you dear reader? Go download the demo, give it a crack and decide whether the King has returned. EXCELSIOR!
What did you guys think of Duke Nukem Forever? Let us know in the comments below.