Best Mom Ever Steals Over 500 Video Games For Her Children

When authorities searched the home of Rebecca Margaret Johnson following her attempted theft of nearly $US2,500 AUD from a Big W department store in Queensland, Australia, they discovered a treasure trove of stolen video games. Over the course of a year the 32-year-old single mother of three had swiped more than 515 video games and various bits of electronic equipment from local retailers.

Her diabolical crime spree raises an important question: Why can't she be my mom?

The obvious answer is that she's 32 and I'm 39, so the maths just doesn't add up. Not like the $US7, 290 AUD (not that much more in U.S. dollars) in items she purloined from Ipswitch area Wal-Mart, Target and K-Mart stores between January 2011 and February 2012.

And then there's the whole getting arrested thing. In February authorities caught Johnson heading out of a Big W with a cart filled with clothes, computer equipment, and various bits of expensive friffery. I'm a firm believer that the Mother-of-the-Year award be revoked upon getting nicked by the cops. I don't make the rules, kids, but I've got to play by them.

Johnson recently plead guilty in Ipswich Magistrates Court to 41 counts of stealing, fraud and possessing tainted property, the latter also referred to as the Australian Soft Cell law by people that know nothing about the Australian law process other than the fact that their court houses, as Luke Plunkett pointed out, are quite lovely.

It's like getting sentenced in the future!

Speaking of space-aged sentencing, with no previous criminal record Johnson was sentenced to two years' probation and 200 hours community service. For some reason Australia seems to have a soft spot for criminals.

Oh come on, I am just kidding. Mostly.

And so the best mum ever because the most irritable mother ever that's constantly looking for people to watch the kids while she picks up trash and helps battle Australia's giant desert spiders. She may have learned a valuable lesson — I don't really care. All that matters here is that for one glorious year, Johnson was the mother I hope my wife turns out to be after I mysteriously disappear in two years.

Wait, what's this?

Johnson, 32, spent between January 2011 and February 2012 stealing mainly video games from Target, Big W and K-mart and would pawn them.

Pawn them?!

She is a horrible woman that should have her children taken away.

Mother steals hundreds of games [Queensland Times]


Comments

    A better mum wouldn't of got caught. How did she steal the games? Don't all stores have them locked behind a counter? Also she sold the games, so not really the best.

      Yeah, I don't really get that. I work for Big W and no discs are actually out on display with the cases which I'm pretty sure is the same as every other retailer. I can only think she asked for the discs at the home entertainment counter but said she would pay for them at the front, only to just walk out.

        Most of ours are, they're just in safers.

    " $US7, 290 AUD"

    Um, what? Is it US or Aus dollars?

      it's pretty much at parity right now

    LOL - Ipswich Wal-Mart!

      I think Mike thought that Big W was just the local name for Walmart.

        Jeez I hate the way Americans say "Wal-Mart," and other such words that piss me off...

          How else are you supposed to say 'Wal-Mart?' there's really only one way to say it.

      I think Ipswich probably deserves a Wal-Mart...

    Now, I don't particularly care for the subject of this article...
    This article was awesome.

    Let me fix that sentence:
    "Johnson, 32, spent between January 2011 and February 2012 stealing mainly video games from Target, Big W and K-mart and would PWN them."

    Great mom, not only steals games but plays them and pwns the hell out of them too.

    This article was actually pretty funny. Good one Fahey.

    "For some reason Australia seems to have a soft spot for criminals" - it's because we're all descended from them, right?

    "nearly $US2,500 AUD"?

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