Real Weapon Sellers Will Be So Jealous Of These Borderlands 2 Videos

Real Weapon Sellers Will Be So Jealous Of These Borderlands 2 Videos

The same week EA pulls links to weapon and gear manufacturers from its Medal of Honor: Warfighter website, the arms crafters (ArmsCrafters — ready in about an hour) of Borderlands 2 get not one but three separate full-blown video ads. Some days it just doesn’t pay to be real.

If I were to slip into the futuristic fictional world of Borderlands 2, I’d buy all of my weapons from Tediore. There’s just something wholesome about the way they kill, every round releasing puffs of warm apple pie scent into the air. This ad gives me the feeling that should I miss my target, my weapon will be there to tell me everything is going to be all right. Maybe it’ll dispense warm milk.

The Vladof ad is all lines and marching, maroons and parchment. You know… Russian. A little heavy-handed, to be sure, but then that’s the way of the stereotypical Soviet. And really we’re all to blame for maintaining that one — whenever I see my friend Vlad from GameStop I secretly want to hear him say “I will break you” with that awesome accent.

Say it, Vlad!

Finally we’ve got the Maliwan, high tech weapons for a low tech world. They are the Apple of Borderlands 2. I bet each weapon comes in a startlingly clean and crisp white box, the Maliwan inlaid in shimmering silver. And should my Maliwan weapon jam I picture a holographic insufferable prick in a polo shirt to show up to tell me what I was doing wrong.

Borderlands 2 hits store shelves and the digital realm in September.


  • I remember with the first game they said that no one noticed the fact that the different manufacturers had different focuses in how they made weapons. This must be their way of addressing the problem this time around

    • That’s surprising to hear since every time you use a weapon vending machine, Marcus is always yelling stuff like:
      “If it took more than one shot, you weren’t using a Jakobs.” (Jakobs focus on power)
      “Is shooting bullets just not cool enough for you? Get a Maliwan, and light some people on fire!” (Maliwan is elemental tech)
      “Vladof! You don’t need to be a better shot, you just need to shoot more bullets!” (Vladof’s focus on increased magazine size)
      “Hyperion asks, what good is a gun that doesn’t shoot where you point? Get a gun that’s as accurate as you are!” (Hyperion focus on accuracy)
      And so on. It was a great way to highlight the differences in brands while fitting in with the lore of the world.

  • ^ exactly! I mean yeah if you really get into the game that stuff becomes clear, but they wanted it really to be a “feel” thing I remember reading which really didn’t quite translate in the gams

Show more comments

Log in to comment on this story!