Video game reviews tend to feel a bit mundane to me — I think it's because they sort of require some sort of template. Certain things have to be discussed and noted. That's the nature of a review but it can all get a bit... predictable and bland. Proving this point is this Game Review System: plug in the name of the game, the publisher, the genre, blah blah blah and out of the conveyor belt comes a fully formed review. Guys, I'm going to be out of a job.
Just as a little experiment, I totally put together a review for Saints Row IV using the template...
Review: Saints Row IV for the Xbox 360.
Saints Row IV is the cautiously-anticipated sequel from some unknown, but is it any good?
It's tough to be a third party games publisher these days, and games like Saints Row IV are a good example of why.
Saints Row IV tries to seperate itself from the pack with interesting features. Asynchronous play takes a while to set up, and it's sometimes annoying that you have to wait for other peple to do things befoe you get to have fun. It's not as immediately rewarding as a fully online system but there's some interesting experiences on offer.
The graphics are pretty good, if you're into the cartoony art style. It's not a game you will be writing home about. It's just more proof that the Xbox 360 is showing its age.
The 3D world of Saints Row IV comes to life in a cartoony way, which is nice if you're a fan of the genre.The visuals represent the objects they represent well.
Saints Row IV on the Xbox 360 looks roughly on par with other games of its type, but the aging host hardware is to blame for that more than anything else.
Saints Row IV just doesn't come together in the end, and will leave Sandbox Earth afficianados wanting more.
Overall Score: 2 / 10 Mark Serrels
Okay dokey... now let's try Splinter Cell BLacklist!
Review: Splinter Cell Blacklist for the Xbox 360.
Splinter Cell Blacklist is the cautiously-anticipated sequel from Ubisoft, but is it any good?
When they're not upsetting Wii U owners or making more trailers for games that aren't out for another two years, Ubisoft are sometimes known for releasing games like Splinter Cell Blacklist. The eagerly awaited game is set to turn heads, but perhaps not for the reasons Ubisoft intended.
You're a big tough angry game and you're going to hit people! Nobody can stop your unstoppable rampage through the game's varied levels of destruction. You start the game hitting small things and watching small cutscenes before working your way up to hitting bigger things and watching larger cutscenes. Everything can be hit and you yell and scream and hate your step-dad some more.
Splinter Cell Blacklist tries to seperate itself from the pack with interesting features. The online support for multiplayer is mostly robust, but some infrequent lag mars an otherwise satisfying experience. You'll find your experience of the online will closely match the quality of your internet connection, and how well the solid matchmaking system connects you to nearby players. Enemy AI is strong, but come on, who plays solo these days? Multiplayer is a breeze to get going, and playing against another human is always a far sight more challenging than your Xbox 360 could ever be.
Visually, Splinter Cell Blacklist is a tour de force. The realistic presentation is carried across with sublime attention to detail.Additionally, there is no faulting the character animation on display. It's a testament to the graphical prowress of the Xbox 360 when its in the hands of the experienced team at Ubisoft.
The 3D world of Splinter Cell Blacklist comes to life in a realistic way, which is nice if you're a fan of the genre.The visuals represent the objects they represent well.
Splinter Cell Blacklist on the Xbox 360 looks roughly on par with other games of its type, but the aging host hardware is to blame for that more than anything else.
I liked it, all my mates liked it, even my dog likes it, and chances are you will too.
Overall Score: 7 / 10 Mark Serrels
Whoa, that one was actually really, really good!
Now you go! And feel free to post your 'reviews' in the comments below.